06 March 2006

me? infused with holy? nah...

so i've been thinking a lot lately about the whole "being made in God's image" thing. chris rice started it with his song "the final move" (love it!)

...molecules and men infused with holy...finding our way around the galaxy...

infused with holy...hmmm. makes me wonder how my life is changed by that fact...conviction much? *sigh*

so my english prof says i've got the "juice" (his word...not mine) to be a novelist. i'm not sure what to do with that. should i be thrilled or terrified? i'm leaning towards the latter. so what if i can write? it seems like it's just one more thing i can fail at...one more opportunity for people to critisize me...one more thing...it's always one more thing. just like with my photography stuff...i'm so stuck in a creative rut right now. it's like i'm afraid to be creative because i'm scared people will laugh at my pathetic attempt at creativity. what if they think i suck?

WHEN WILL THE INSECURITIES END?????

i almost feel like my camera's gonna jump up and start praising God (the rocks will cry out...) because i'm doing such an apathetic job of it right now. i'm supposed to use my talent for God's glory...so why do i feel like i don't have any??????

"i have a song...
so let the earth sing along
cuz i just wanna praise You"

just one of those days i guess...