three under five...

a typical day...

2012-01-25T08:51:00.001-08:00

a typical day...(after reading through another post similar to this one, i thought it would be fun to record a fairly ordinary day in our lives right now. here goes...)5:47 - my alarm goes off. ugh. remembering n's cries to nurse at three, i hit snooze and roll over. (i hit snooze pretty much every morning...)7:00 - at some point, i actually turned the alarm OFF and decided to skip the walk. i always hate that decision but...it's inevitable when i'm still being woken up in the middle of the night consistently. something woke me up though (not a little voice saying, "my wake up!" in my face...) and so i got up. stumbling downstairs, i turned the heater and the coffee on and started a pot of groats. LOVE that cereal. wish we could eat it more often but seeing as it takes an hour to simmer...it's just not feasible most mornings. i check my email, read a bit of 1 timothy, want to see what mark driscoll has to say on the end of chapter one so start listening to a sermon of his. 7:37 - two of the kids are sitting on my lap. for some reason i was thinking it was friday and forgot that john has an early morning meeting on thursday mornings (if he hadn't needed to get ready, he probably would have kept the kids in bed with him until at least eight). the cereal was no where near ready so we read books until it was time to eat. curious george and bearenstain bears were the libre du jour. 8:15 - the kids and i are eating groats and bananas (more coffee for me). n is still sleeping. j is ironing a shirt. ironing is something i refuse to do, only because i caught him RE-ironing a shirt i'd already ironed once. i figured if he didn't like the way i did it, then he could do it himself. 8:45 - the older two are done eating. i've taken lu to the potty and said goodby to j. n finally wakes up. pretty sure it has to do with the fact that e is getting dressed and thumping and bumping quite a bit while doing it. feed her her groats and banana. try to pay bills in between bites. 10:00 - chat with my mom a bit while clearing off the table. the bills have been paid and taken out to the box. the kids are playing nicely. i check facebook and try to decide on a recipe to take to the recipe swap friday night.10:30 - snack time. apple slices. cheese. almonds. after snack, we all troop outside. i sit on a blanket and work on my mom's birthday present (which was, yes, over a month ago). n toddles around, learning how to walk on uneven ground. lu pretends to be "working" with a overturned wheelbarrow and a few buckets. e finds a couple sticks and somehow works out a bow and arrow. he proceeds to shoot me a few times before i lose my patience and confiscate the sticks. seriously. is it so hard to shoot something other than a person? why does he always have to shoot at people?!? i almost get sunburn on my shoulders; it does not feel like january.11:15 - lu has to go potty so the girls trek back into the house (i still don't trust n outside without me out there too). lu goes back out after she's done. n and i (okay, mostly me) start lunch. pb&j with carrots and snap peas and some potato and lentil curl snacks that i found at trader joe's. i don't usually buy snacks like that because they're typically pretty nutrient deficient but i figured they would be a nice treat. a nice treat for mom: they have four grams of fiber and five grams of protein per serving. didn't see that coming. 11:45 - lunch time. the kids sit and eat for quite a while. i eat with them, relishing the quiet munching.12:30 - clear the table. get the girls down and cleaned up. e clears his place. we filter into the playroom. e and i look through a picture puzzle book, searching each page for different items hidden within. lu prances around us in her "bal-rina" outfit and shoes. pandora is playing rather loudly on the stereo. the raffi station. n bops back and forth between e and i and the play kitchen. when the picture puzzle book has been completed, n sits in my lap for some reading time of her own. she RARELY lets me read to her; i relished every moment. i didn't really read anything to her, just pointed out different things in the pictures. she kept coming back to a page with yellow boots on it. after a few times, she could chorus along with me, "boo!" (boots!) sweet girl.1:30 - nap time for the girls. lu asked to sleep in her "bal-rinas". didn't see much harm in it. she did take her tu-tu off though. once the girls were down, i read chapter thirteen from the first harry potter book to e. i wonder how much he's getting out of the book but seeing as he asks for it everyday, i figure he's enjoying it, even if he doesn't understand most of it. 2:00 - quiet time for me and e. i tell him he has to play quietly while mommy has some alone time. he does well and choses his harry potter legos to play with today. i spend most of the time on the computer with a cup of tea in my hand. i hear n around 2:30 but decide that since she's not fussing too much, she'll be fine for another half an hour.3:00 - i get n up. lu wakes up shortly after. a small snack of popcorn and oranges.3:30 - the kids play while i whip up a batch of pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. discovered halfway through the mixing that i was out of chocolate chips. substituted bittersweet chocolate chunks and hope the muffins will still be as deletable as they usually are. 4:00 - finally tackle the mountain of dishes as soon as the muffins are done baking. i despise doing the dishes and find them much more do-able if i just do them once a day, preferably before j gets home...4:20 - i join the kids in the playroom. start e on a few school pages (kumon workbooks for now). the girls color for a bit then wander off to play in the kitchen. 4:45 - e finishes his pages. i have picked up the abandoned crayons and try to tap my inner artist. a two-dimensional map of a town emerges, along with a sketch of harry and his nimbus two thousand.5:15 - call j a few times to try to get a feel for when he's planning to be home. discover he's at applebee's with his cousin, have a feeling he won't be home when he says he will.5:30 - start dinner. it's just tacos in a bowl and really only needs a bit of prep. heat/smash the beans (e's job), cut up the avocados and tomatoes, open the olives, shred the cheese, get the chips out, etc. 6:00 - the kids and i sit down to eat. j isn't home yet but i'm hungry and the food is hot so there's really no sense in waiting for him.6:45 - j walks in the door. i'm a the sink, filling the dishwasher. the kids are in the playroom, supposed to be cleaning up but are instead pretending to shoot spells at each other with lincoln log wands. j sits down to eat, distracting n, thankfully, from emptying the dishwasher of the dishes i'm continually adding. 7:15 - i escape to the computer room to figure out an online order my mom and i are doing together. she and i spend a few more minutes on the phone. n joins me for a bit too.7:37 - i realize that clean up isn't and hasn't been happening and pretty much blow my top. send the kids upstairs despite the disaster that still litters the floor of the playroom. decide that they'll finish their job in the morning, before breakfast, no matter how faint with hunger they find themselves.8:00 - n is already in bed, still fussing though. sing with lu. coat her chapped cheeks with eucerin cream. do the same to e. sit with him a bit, trying to explain to him that though i'm disappointed in his choice to be disobedient, i still love him, no matter what. he doesn't sound convinced. poor guy. not sure how to get through to him that i love him despite what he does. 8:15 - try to nurse n, who was still carrying on in her crib. she sucks halfheartedly for a few minutes before sitting up and trying to chat with me. i put her back to bed, reminding myself not to fall for that trick again.8:30 - head downstairs. clean up the now-cooled muffins. make the coffee for the morning. start a load of diapers in the dryer. try to figure out why the lower level smells so much like poop. jump on facebook for a few minutes. run through the day in my head, to see how much of i actually remember...enough. and so i begin typing away. listening to joni mitchell.

confessions of a preschool dropout.

2012-01-14T15:29:00.000-08:00

confession time: we took e out of school last fall. and we have no plans to enroll him somewhere this coming fall. i'm still not sure how i feel about that decision. it wasn't that he didn't like preschool, or do well there, we mainly pulled him out due to the financial burden. and also the disruption of family life. our boy is a bit of a sleepy head, naturally waking somewhere between 7:45 and 8:15 (his sister wakes him up much earlier than that on most days however). considering the fact that school started at 8:15...i hated waking him up just to get him out the door. more often than not, i had to wake one of the girls up too. sleep is so important to their development; i never felt right waking one of them up just so he could go cut and paste (obviously, he did more than that but sometimes it seemed it was nothing more than an expensive daycare).

on his first day of preschool - august 2010

the only pause i have is when i think about the friends he made. he really only has one friend now...though he enjoys playing with the neighbor kids on occasion. did we deny him the chance to make new friends? i don't make friends easily. i never have. i am a homebody at my core; it is just easier for me to stay home and find friends within the pages of a book. that's just who i am. however, i do see and understand the desperate need we all have for friends. first and foremost, i'd like my children's friends to be their siblings. and there's no other way to nurture that than to spend time together. e and lu are now getting to the ages where they can play together well, though not always nicely. but he also needs other boys he can gang around with, to tackle and shoot guns, to spit and fart and do BOY stuff. my prayer for him this year is that he would make and find a few fast friends.

in class...

now, preschool is behind us (for e anyway). kindergarten looms. we've talked through the various options for school next year and beat out the pros and cons of each. public school: close to home vs. large class sizes, curriculum geared to pass standardized tests. charter school: good curriculum, variety of programs/classes vs. driving more than a few minutes, not guaranteed to get in. homeschool: chose curriculum to fit our family, flexible schedule vs. no social aspect.
i've started looking at homeschooling curricula and am, of course, overwhelmed. mostly at all the different options available but also, the cost involved. i realize that it won't be free...still the cost is much higher than i anticipated (though the fact that i could use the same curriculum for more than one child is a definite plus). i got tears in my eyes just this afternoon as i was reading through a kindergarten course description. so silly! i got excited about being able to teach my son the things described in the catalog. i want to teach him those things! to watch him learn and learn to love to learn. but i also want him to have time away from home. to learn how to be independent and not socially awkward.

home after his first day

it is just kindergarten. it's not like we're talking about the tenth grade here. he's only FIVE! still such a little boy. a little boy that should be running around, playing with legos, kicking dirt and ripping holes in his jeans. not confined to a desk or a table, learning to count to one hundred. obviously, learning is important. and school is important. but so is life and living! and learning to love the act of learning. and i'm starting to think that he could develop that best jumping into puddles, filling his pockets with rocks and poking an ant hill, just to see what happens...

blogity blog blog

2012-01-04T14:02:00.000-08:00

it would seem that i have been neglecting this little piece of internet real estate.
but that really isn't the case.
i have sat at this computer, in this chair, fingers clicking away quite a bit lately.
i've just never hit "publish".
the words staring back at me in their black and white reality were just a bit too real.
too personal.
too private.
so...i've been taking up the pen more often.
writing my words down on lined paper.
keeping them to myself.
i don't want to abandon this blog completely.
i would like to keep it alive and fresh.
a place to write out my moments with my littles as they grow increasingly LESS little.
because i'm already experiencing the forgetfulness of motherhood.
the mini moments get lost so quickly.
i can't remember what elijah's baby voice sounded like...his coos and gurgles that kept me company in the night.
i can't remember all lucy's silly pronunciations and made up songs.
naomi is already starting to lose her "baby-ness" at 14 months...
and though i do my best to cling to it...she can't help but grow up.
she's losing her baby thunder thighs and gaining a vocabulary.
it's these little moments that this blog can help me remember.
i may not be able to record everything here...but i can certainly try.
and try i must...
so...
i will try.
another goal for another year.
write more.
even if it's silly and seems insignificant.
someday i will appreciate it...

i already do.

at twelve-ish months...

2011-12-28T14:34:00.000-08:00

how do you pick just one? or five even? or shoot...ten? maybe you can. but i can't. so. here's twenty-one. yes, twenty-one pictures from my sweet girl's one year shoot. can't get enough of her. these pictures were taken closer to thirteen months but i'll try to keep the observations about her and her character closer to twelve months...

at one, she is:

so very smiley...

still so small. she's on the bottom end of the spectrum for both weight and height. petite. like her mama.

not walking yet. she can go though. and does. she'll grab anything she can, a dining room chair, a random cardboard box, any of the push toys we seem to accumulate, one of her brother's larger trucks...whatever she can find to push across the floor to get herself where she wants to go. if she can't find anything to push, crawling will suffice. she COULD walk, if she wanted to. but other than a few steps here and there, she apparently doesn't have the desire for a pied travel .

she is learning how to make her siblings laugh. she does this crazy, blinking face that they find hilarious. she pulls it out at least once during every meal time, so proud of herself for the ensuing reaction.

in addition to not walking on her own, she also doesn't say very many words. her vocabulary is limited to "ah-wa" (water), "da-da" (of course), "lie-jah" (elijah), "baba" (bye), "buh-buh" (bum) and "pooh" (for pooh bear and sometimes poop. nice. i know.). but, given the chance, she will chat your ear off. you will have no idea what she's saying, but as long as you nod, smile and insert the appropriate, "uh huh's", she'll continue. so wish there was such a thing as a baby translator. her soliloquies sound so interesting!

she is a chow hound, of course. just like her siblings were at her age. something about turning one and they all started eating everything put in front of them while snagging snacks off the floor or from mommy's plate, whichever is easier at the time.

she is so. very. busy. into everything, she just bops from one activity to the next, leaving a wake of debris behind her. kitchen towels, toys, plastic lids, shoes, socks, etc. i am forever following behind her, picking things up off the floor.

unlike her siblings, she's still nursing several times during the day. well...i should rephrase that. she typically nurses once before bed, once in the middle of the night and once first thing in the morning. i so wish she would start skipping that middle of the night feeding! mommy wants to sleep through the night again...

she adores her brother and sister and of course wants to be doing whatever they are doing. she usually plops herself down right in the middle of their game, right on top of the book they were reading or snatches their toys straight out of their hand. this is hardly acceptable to the older two; they are forever running up to me (tears in lu's eyes typically) to report her latest infraction. it's so very hard to have a one year old sister that adores you, apparently.

she will rarely sit still to listen to a book being read, which saddens me, of course. but both the older two went through this very same stage. i'm hoping she grows out of it soon. there's nothing i love more that a cuddle with my babies and their books.

but, it's jars of clay!

2011-10-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

so. i wasn't supposed to take the pictures. not only were there signs posted outside the theater but the super nice lady (was she the director?) that introduced the band made it perfectly clear that photography of any kind was not to be tolerated. the obedient good girl in me pretty much curled up into a little ball and wept at that news. no pictures? seriously? but, but, but it's JARS OF CLAY! how can i not take pictures?

being a fairly stringent rule abider (apparently that's not a word...but you know what i mean) for the majority of my life, i sat through the first half of the concert with my camera faithfully tucked away in my bag. however, after several moving songs (and when i say moving, i mean there were tears flowing off the end of my nose...), i turned to my husband and said, "i can't walk out of here without taking at least one picture. or ten. cover for me." so, i did it. i broke the rules. and i still kinda feel bad about it. i mean, they did ask me not to. but...i'm not planning to sell them, post them on facebook or do anything illegal with them. i'm just going to keep them, here, on my hard drive. as a souvenir, a token to remember an amazing evening...and no. i'm not even going to post them here. i do have a bit of a conscience left, apparently.

the two best songs of the night? (did you really expect me to pick just one?) not flood. gag. i didn't even like that song back when it was popular. which is funny...since it's kinda like their "hit". that one song they have to play at every.single.show. can i even call them my favorite band if i don't like it? hmmm. anyways. the two best songs of the night: something beautiful (the eleventh hour) and run in the night (the shelter) (the links will take you to the lyrics page; just scroll down to the right song). good stuff. i'd rhapsodize more about the songs and the reasons i love them but i think i'll save the real personal stuff for another day. i'm just not feeling it tonight. just know that i bawled at something beautiful. cried like a moody teenager. serious. but then again...how could i not? i mean, it was jars of clay. after all. {wink}

the anaya's in cancun...

2011-10-21T21:49:00.000-07:00

have i ever told you this story? back in april, all five of us made the trek down south to the tropical locale of cancun, mexico. john had won the trip through his hard work for his company and though the company only paid for two tickets, we decided to make it a family affair (mainly because the girls, being under two, were basically free). it wasn't a relaxing vacation, to be sure, but we had fun nonetheless. ninety percent of the week we were there was spent ... you guessed it ... at the pool. i sat in the shade with the baby while e and lu splashed in about eighteen inches of water. i didn't get any poolside reading done as my eyes were glued to their two heads bobbing in and out of the kiddie pool. but i did get to eat some amazing seafood and sit on my bum with absolutely nothing else to do. THAT was definitely appreciated.

i did make it into the pool a few times...

the day we were supposed to fly home was a bit traumatic...or maybe dramatic...one or the other...as the ticket agent couldn't find our reservations and couldn't get us all on one flight together (splitting us up was not even an option either apparently). so...we got to head back into the city, lug our belongings back into another hotel room and try to enjoy a few more hours in "paradise". the kids did great with the schedule mix up...i wish the same could be said for their mother (yes, that would be me). i was just so.ready to be home. to be completely honest, it was hard adjusting my attitude...until the next morning when room service brought breakfast (a treat in and of itself, one that i thoroughly appreciated!) and my son was ecstatic about the amount of bacon he got on his plate. apparently, it's the little things ... right?

aforementioned breakfast.

a few more pictures...

2011-09-09T16:15:00.000-07:00

is this not the saddest face you've ever seen? poor boy had his first major spill on his bike last weekend...and yes, i had to take a picture. and yes, i had to post it on here. he will hate me someday for that...
we were all riding as a family, john pulling the girls in the trailer and me and e on our bikes, riding along behind. he swerved to miss a pole in the middle of the sidewalk without looking to see if there was anything next to him. unfortunately, there was. a semi truck. parked, thankfully. but still. he missed the truck but lost his balance and flew right over the handlebars. not fun. his first comment was wailed through the tears: "i want ducky!" (his little duck blanket that he sleeps with...) and then, after the tears had subsided a bit, "i don't like trucks, mommy." which is funny...because if you know him, you know that he really does like trucks. poor guy. a busted lip. a scraped up chin. scabby knees. man...that hurts.

so. funny story.

2011-09-07T15:27:00.000-07:00

i asked for a grumpy face...and this is what she gave me!

this little girl cracks.me.up. on a daily basis.
example? why, certainly.

the other day, i asked her to pick up her shoes and put them away in the closet.
her response?
{imagine the following in a very serious, two year old tone:}
"not today, mommy. my only do dat on tuesdays."

for reals.
how do you NOT laugh?

tears.

2011-08-30T14:57:00.000-07:00

i'm tired of crying.
tired of hurting.
tired of carrying this sadness around.
this sadness that isn't even my own.

a little baby girl went back to be with Jesus last week.
she choked in her sleep.
the reality of that astounds me.
choked on her mother's sweet milk.
it pierces.
she was the daughter of friends.
a niece of dear friends.
a granddaughter of friends.
only seven weeks old.
my heart hurts.
aches.
the tears are so near the surface.
always.

i hide them.
my children don't understand.
don't need to know.
they don't need the burden of mommy's sadness.
but it weighs on me.
a layer of melancholy surrounds.

every time i bring naomi to my breast...i hurt anew.
tears leak from my eyes even as i savor that tender moment with my baby girl.
i think of the physical pain the mother must be in as her body continues to make milk.
make milk for a baby that exists on this earth no longer.
the milk that stopped her breath.
bittersweet.
staggering in its harsh reality.
if only there were a valve to turn it off...instead of the continuous flow of nourishment.
my breasts seem to be mourning with her.
they've clogged themselves more in the past week than they have in the last six months.
blisters and cracks have appeared and not healed.
it physically hurts to nurse naomi now.
i have a piece of her pain.

and so i cry.
i cry for the lost life.
i cry for the missing face from the christmas photo on the mantle.
i cry for me and my selfish self...so thankful it wasn't me.
i cry for the absolute devastation they must feel.
i cry.
and i cry.
and i cry.

and i'm tired of it.
which makes me cry even more...
because of how awful that thought even is.

i don't know why her passing has affected me so very deeply.
i never even got to hold her.
i picked her paci off the floor, gave it a rinse and gave it back to her.
that's it.
that's all.
the whole of my interaction with her.
yet.
yet.
yet her passing has broken me.
daily.

i'm frustrated with myself.
so selfish i am.
so self centered.
i've been trying to write out my feelings for the past five days.
but i can't get past the fact that this is all about me.
me.
me.
me.
what about them?
what about her? the mother of that sweet baby girl?
surely, my pain doesn't even begin scratch the surface what what they must be thinking and feeling.
i'm annoyed with my own vanity.
yet, still.
the tears come.
they drip off my nose and soak my shirt.
i weep.
uncontrollably.
for the memories that will never be.
for the memories of those awful moments upon finding her...lifeless.
those memories that will be burned forever on the inside of their eyelids.
for the sweet milk that is being made...never to be drunk.
for the absolute agony.
despair.
anguish.

never before have i better understood that scripture in romans that says, "we do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

i don't know what to pray.
i don't know how to pray.
for the most part, my prayers have been wordless groans of desperation.
there is a small comfort knowing that though i have no words, the holy spirit can translate my silence.
God knows.
He knows.
He knows.
and right now, He's holding her.
both of them.
mother and baby.
together in His hand.
they will be together again.
but oh...
how my heart aches.
and the tears still fall.
silent.

misadventures in toddler fashion.

2011-08-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

this is what happens when lucy dresses herself:

not only is the headpiece a nice touch but the shirt is on backwards and honestly, the skirt just really doesn't match.

when asked about her wardrobe choices for the day, she responded, "'lijah helped me." ahhh. that explains quite a bit.

a view from the back. at least she rocked the look...

just once...

2011-08-26T15:52:00.000-07:00

just once,

i'd like to get a picture

of all three of my kids

looking at the camera

with smiles on their faces.

all three of their faces.

just once.

okay.

maybe twice.

but really...

that can't be too much to ask.

can it?

all pictures taken exactly a month ago, 26 july 2011, at my parents' house in alaska.

2011-06-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

once again...it has been ages since i've been able to post a blog. the main reason lies in my computer's shoddy internet service for the past two months. i've been so frustrated with it that i simply haven't been on the computer. but also, life is busy...always busy. with three littles to entertain, there's hardly a stolen moment for myself.

the house is quiet right now. all three are napping...at the same time. a rare luxury. i should be cleaning the bathrooms but i really don't want to disturb the peace. the toilets can wait.

for once, i'm actually caught up on my personal pictures...mainly because i've been taking a break from "professional" shoots. i have two coming up this weekend though...hopefully i'll get those done and up here before i take off on my yearly alaskan sabbatical.

so...for now, i leave you with an image that captures how the majority of my days are spent...in the sun, with my littles, trying to soak up every moment...

post sprinkler run through...june 2011

one word wednesday : 22 june 2011

2011-06-22T15:42:00.000-07:00

promise.

2011-05-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

i've been listening to lucy cry upstairs, in her doorway, intermittently, for the last forty five minutes. due to her nightly escapades, we were forced to finally buy a gate for her doorway. tonight was its debut. needless to say, it did not win any awards in the eyes of the two year old. she managed to knock it down three times, until i screwed it in there as tight as it would go (i was actually worried it was going to break). she hasn't succeeded in taking it down yet. so instead, she's hanging over the side, sobbing her little heart out. well, she was until about ten minutes ago when i went up there and guided her back to her bed. i probably shouldn't have but i was worried that all her hysterics would wake her sister. in my sympathetic venture up the stairs, i finally figured out why she was having such a fit. turns out, she'd dropped her curious george stuffed toy over the edge of the gate and was beside herself with grief over their separation. oh the drama of being two...
today, at the farmer's market, i had two different people tell me how much they wished their children were little again. "cherish these moments!" they said. and though, in my heart, i know what they're saying is sound advice, i unwittingly find myself dreaming of the day when they're a little more self sufficient. a little more obedient. a little less needy of me.
i try not to wish these days away...because i know those ladies at the farmer's market are right. i know because i'm already missing "those" days. i'm missing the days elijah didn't feel the need to contradict everything i say. i miss the days lucy would fall asleep in my arms. i miss the days i didn't have to monitor what toys were laying on the floor because of naomi and her adept military crawl. i miss the sleepy, squishy newborn stage...not enough to want another baby just yet...but enough to wish my babies still were...babies. one could argue that naomi really is still a baby, however, with her newfound mobility and incessant desire to be wherever her siblings are, doing whatever they're doing, she seems much less of an almost seven month old...
it's just been one of those days...weeks...months. nothing got checked off the to-do list, the house is still a disaster from lucy's birthday party and there are ants in the bathroom, yet again. i just needed to vent a little frustration, i suppose.

ten on tuesday - 8 march edition

2011-03-08T21:00:00.000-08:00

a grouping of thoughts swirling around in my head this tuesday evening. no semblance of order...just the randomness of my brain at the end of a long day...

1. i am so "sarcastically" excited that it's 8:30pm and lucy is still singing in her crib. c'mon baby! just go to sleep already! though it is rather cute to hear her singing away...

2. i am "authentically" excited that i'm hearing the sounds of john doing the dishes downstairs. wahoo! one less thing for this mama to do tonight. though i will probably still have a couple pots to do, seeing as he seems to forget any and all dishes that aren't in the immediate vicinity of the sink...

3. i am hearing the sounds of my hard drive uploading even MORE images from last sunday's wedding. the image count is almost at 1000 and i still have one card left. whoa. literal image overload. i'm feeling overwhelmed just thinking about it. i just need to remind myself: one image at a time...one image at a time...

4. i served salmon burgers for dinner tonight and no one complained! not even john! (i'm only slightly joking) that must be a first. also a first, elijah ate all his asparagus. without protest. i was shocked.

5. i just took the flannel sheets off our bed and am mourning the loss. i was hoping to keep them on through march but seeing as though it's sixty nine degrees upstairs without the aid of the heater...it was time. the fleece blanket is still on the bed, just in case...but i truly doubt we'll be using it.

6. i spent several (actually, more than several...ahem) minutes looking at vintage fisher price toys on etsy.com tonight. thinking i need to add a few more to my collection. hmmm...

7. i ransacked my "office" today looking for the two eldest kids' social security cards this afternoon to no avail. we need them so we can put in their passport applications asap. we're headed to mexico in april! and while i'm definitely excited about that, i'm decidedly not as excited about the missing cards. if you were a social security card, where would you be?

8. i need to made a decision about this year's garden. to be or not to be? that is the question. i want to start digging...but then i start thinking about all the ants that live back there, all the weeds that need to be vanquished and i get exhausted just thinking about it. maybe i'll just grow some sugar snap peas along the fence...

9. i really need to get back into a good workout routine. my body is aching from too many nights spent sleeping in an upright position...and though that needs to be remedied in and of itself, i know i would feel better if i was getting consistent exercise...

10. i have served these three different versions of pancakes for breakfast over the past week or so and every single one of them was gobbled up. just thought i'd share some yummy recipes! (just as an aside: i did add cinnamon, vanilla and blueberries to the honey whole wheat ones...so i guess that was kind of cheating. no wonder they were gobbled up!) i plan to try this one as well, but seeing as it needs a food processor and i like to keep my children sleeping as long as absolutely possible, i think i'll save it for a "sleepy start" kind of morning or a "breakfast for dinner" kind of evening. OR...maybe i'll be a really cool mom and serve them for lunch tomorrow. hmmm...

the "to done" list...

2011-03-07T21:22:00.000-08:00

so many evenings find me sighing, lamenting all that didn't get done that day. the list is forever endless; i find myself continually adding tasks to the list rather than checking any off. i look around me and cannot help but to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, under-qualified. most days, i head to bed thinking, "maybe tomorrow... maybe next week... maybe someday..."...a discouraging mindset at best. i was beginning to wonder if this was my destiny...was i to be forever shackled by an unending to do list? when i stumbled across a status update on facebook bemoaning the very same thing. a comment below it exhorted the writer of the update to make a "to done" list instead of the traditional "to do" list. and novel thought. a brilliant thought. a genius thought. so...here i am...at the end of a seemingly very unproductive day...and i am making a "to done" list.

1. i made and served three meals (plus two snacks). they weren't anything exciting but at least they were made and my family was fed.
2. i cleaned up said meals. dishes put into the dishwasher and the very same dishes taken out of the dishwasher. table wiped. highchair wiped. floor under highchair wiped. counters washed down. etc. etc. etc.
3. i actually cleaned the kitchen sink. this doesn't happen very often as i only seem to do it when the perfect storm occurs: the drying rack is mostly empty, the kids are playing happily and there's not a meal being prepared. like i said, it doesn't happen very often.
4. i changed at least five diapers, three of which were poopy (when they're cloth diapers, you always remember the number of poopies...the total number, not so much).
5. i nursed a little one at least four times...but maybe more than that, depending on when you consider the day actually starting...
6. i took a shower!!! this is phenomenal, seeing as it doesn't happen as often as it should...
7. i talked to my sweet mother on the phone...several times. ;o)
8. i read two chapters of my book (while nursing, of course)
9. i cleaned the upstairs toilet and sinks (floor, counters and tub to come tomorrow)
10. i read three bearenstain bear books (one twice), one curious george book, and several other miscellaneous stories
11. i drew a really awesome castle and some very cute birdies for a budding artist to color
12. i started the process of moving the playroom out of the playroom and into what was, up until now, the catch-all room, moving the guest room/office into the old playroom and moving naomi's things into the old guest room. i didn't get very far on that project but i really wasn't expecting to...

and finally, i'll make an even baker's dozen:

13. i doled out innumerable hugs and kisses, sung countless rounds of "baby beluga", "moon, moon, moon" (lu's favorite song), "twinkle, twinkle", "joy to the world" (e's favorite song...) and the "a b c's", nibbled on several tummies and soaked up an unending stream of smiles, gummy and tooth-filled.

i did a lot today. never mind that the laundry didn't get started, the beds didn't get made and there's still a sticky spot on the kitchen floor where elijah dropped a half eaten orange. there's always tomorrow...right?

scenes from daily life...

2011-03-06T15:46:00.000-08:00

the scene this morning:
i was chasing lucy around downstairs, trying to change a poopy. we were having a bit of a laugh when all of a sudden she stopped right in the middle of being chased, put her finger up to her lips and says, "shhh, i seeping". she shut her eyes while standing up and pretended to sleep. fake snore and everything. that lasted about two seconds...her eyes popped open, she laughed a hysterical fake laugh and ran off again, saying, "i funny, mama! i funny!". this happened more than once...and let me tell you, i was dying of laughter! i haven't laughed that hard in a long time...

can't get enough of the orchards...

2011-03-05T15:40:00.000-08:00

...this time of year, i just can't get enough of the orchards. they are amazing! so beautiful...
i just had to get my kiddos out in them this year to grab some pictures.
of course, neither my children nor the sun cooperated very much.
but...we did what we could.
thankfully, my wonderful friend, shannon, came along to help corral the littles. i grabbed some shots of her kids too...

2011-03-04T15:33:00.000-08:00

my sweet baby girl.
four months old.
still so tiny.
barely fitting into three month clothes...her sister had already graduated to the six month size at this point.
at her appointment on tuesday, she only weighed 11 pounds.
she's healthy...but teeny.
love it.
love her.
love her abundant smile (though not so much at 3 am...)
and her contagious giggle.
she is sweet.
so sweet...but strong.
so strong.
already rolling herself all over the place...and standing up in my arms any chance she gets.
she won't sit contentedly anymore, no...she wants to be standing...to see the action.
she loves books and bathtime.
she watches faces with delight and intention.
she will be inquisitive...she already is.

one word wednesday : 2 march 2011

2011-03-02T15:33:00.000-08:00

sparkle.

boy.

2011-03-02T15:28:00.000-08:00

these days he can be found...
       ...kicking dirt with a snot streaked shirt sleeve.
       ...ripping holes in the knees of his jeans with surprising speed.
       ...shooting the "bad guys" with any weapon he can find, real or imaginary.
       ...tackling his sister for no reason at all.
       ...refusing to take a nap even though he's beyond tired.
       ...asking questions that require research before answering.
       ...counting to twenty but skipping 15-19 because he doesn't "like those ones".
oh boy...he is four.

one word wednesday

2011-02-23T12:01:00.000-08:00

light.

ten on tuesday...

2011-02-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

i'm not sure i've done one of these yet...this list of ten things that are running through my brain on this tuesday. if i have...it's been a LONG time...

1. i was so blessed today by the arrival of lynne and her farm fresh eggs. i have been searching for a reliable source for fresh eggs and finally found lynne through localharvest.org. she agreed to bring them to my door for no extra charge as she drives through our little town frequently. not only are her eggs amazing (i had one for snack today!) but she is an amazingly vibrant believer, weaving Christ into her every breath. she was such an encouragement to me today!!

2. today was the first day i was actually able to smell the almond blossoms from my front door. amazing, amazing scent. i can tell my allergies are about to kick into high gear but i don't really mind, breathing in that intoxicating aroma...

3. we're getting ready to say goodbye to john/daddy for several days. i've spent the afternoon mentally preparing myself for the single parent load. i'm so thankful he has a good job and brings home a steady paycheck especially considering his pay is commission based...but still...it's hard when he has to be gone.

4. naomi has been rolling herself over onto her tummy now for about a week...she's getting really good at it. she has become so much more of an infant and less of a newborn in seemingly the last few weeks. it was especially evident when i took her with me to a newborn shoot last sunday. mr. ashton was SOSO tiny; naomi looked like a giant next to him. it amazes me what four months can do.

5. lucy has been cracking me up lately. not that she didn't already but man...the girl is funny! i love her pronunciations...she tries so hard to say words correctly! and most of the time, she does a fantastic job. there are occasions however, when i have absolutely no idea what she's trying to say.

6. i was so proud of elijah today when lynne came over. instead of hiding his face when she asked him how old he was...or mumbling the answer so quietly no one could hear him, he pronounced loudly and clearly that he was four years old and also offered up that lucy was one, almost two. so proud of that little man...

7. i just finished up three photo shoots in two days. that was a bit crazy. my creative eye is a bit worn out. i was going to take the kids out to the orchards today to grab some pictures of them with the blossoms but really had zero motivation! hopefully it'll work out to do it tomorrow since another winter storm is headed this way on thursday. here's a peek from each in chronological order:

8. i am completely bummed that i'm missing out on the first few weeks of my newest niece's life! little joanna was born on the fifth and i so wanted to go up there to meet her. this long distance thing is the pits.

9. i'm really working hard on getting up at least an hour before the kids do. i kinda fell off the band wagon when my mom was here...it's always a bit like vacation when she comes to visit. definitely going to have to be better about it when john's gone. i'm such a better mommy if i have those few minutes to myself in the morning...to read my bible, have a cup of coffee (while it's still hot!), get breakfast started and just generally mentally prepare for the day. sometimes, i even get a shower in! i so wish i was a morning person...but alas...i am not. after i've been up for about fifteen minutes, i never regret doing so...but man! those first fifteen minutes are so.very.hard...every single time. it's helpful if i have the coffee set to brew the night before...that's a huge motivator...but not always. i'm hoping it'll get easier the more i do it...

10. confession : ever since going to the michael w. smith/amy grant concert a few weeks ago, i have been listening to their playlist on my ipod. i'm addicted! (as an aside, i hope to do a blog post about that experience soon. i have a couple audio clips that i want to get off my phone first...) major guilty pleasure!! my favorite shot from the night:

one word wednesday

2011-02-16T00:01:00.000-08:00

spring.

in the orchards...

2011-02-15T15:37:00.000-08:00

spring is springing here in the valley! seems like the blossoms are late this year...but ah well...they're showing their beautiful faces now!
back in december, john and i promised his family (parents and sister) pictures of the entire extended family (his parents, his sister and her kids and us) for their walls. unfortunately, we didn't have any pictures to print out. hence the trip to the orchards this past sunday. we covered the gamut of groupings: whole family, just grandkids, grandkids and grandparents, etc. of course, my children didn't want to cooperate and smile...of course.

there are many more of these to come...i've only had a chance to edit this one...but it's probably my favorite!

one word wednesday

2011-02-09T00:01:00.000-08:00

thankful.

flashback friday : summertime!!

2011-02-04T00:01:00.000-08:00

it must be that it's february.
it's winter.
still winter.
winter in california, yes...where sunny and sixty degrees is not unusual...but still, winter.

i actually love the winter season...but there are days when even a winter-lover like me can miss the abundance of summertime.
i am SO glad i took the time (it was minimal, really) to freeze four gallon sized bags of blueberries last summer because now, in the doldrums of february, my family and i can enjoy these bright, tasty morsels.
yum.

here's some pictures of our adventures blueberry picking.
(all photographs were taken during may and june of 2010)

one word wednesday

2011-02-02T20:49:00.000-08:00

twirl.

(instead of "wordless wednesday", i've changed it to "one word wednesday"...works better this way, i think)

2011-02-01T20:41:00.000-08:00

oh my sweet lucy kate...

i've been thinking about you lately.
how big you are...
but still so little.
you will be two in may...and most days i can see the prelude of the "terrible" twos...
but there are so many other moments when your sweet spirit shines through...

you are so curious.
you want to do everything your older brother does.
you LOVE your baby sister...sometimes too hard.
you add at least two new words to your vocabulary daily.
my favorites include the way you say, "wait!" when you're trying to catch up with me...the way everything/everybody is "hiding" if you can't see them ("lucy, where's daddy?"..."hiding!"..."isn't he at work?"..."no, hiding!")...the way you ask to pray at least a dozen times at every meal: "ayemem? uh huh? ayemem?"...the way you say thank you, "nakey, mama, nakey!"...and how you always say "'scuse me!" after a burp or a toot...stinkin' cute.

your facial expressions crack. me. up.

you can be so independent...
but at other times, so insecure.
like yesterday, we were outside, in the front, when the garbage man came down the street. you ran to me and hid your face in my legs while crying, "no tuck! no tuck!". one might think you were scared of the noise since the trash man (as elijah calls him) is rather loud but other loud noises (like the vacuum or the coffee grinder) don't bother you in the least...

you are my helper girl.
you love to help me unload the dishwasher (i give you the plastics to put away) and put the wet clothes in the dryer. i'm hoping this trend will continue!!

you are always singing...the alphabet, twinkle twinkle, the counting song, "moon, moon, moon"...it doesn't matter. and such a sweet little voice you have...
you won't go to sleep unless i sing "moon, moon, moon" to you...it's our special tradition. sometimes you sing it with me...but most nights (or naptimes), you simply hold my hand and suck away on your paci.
yes...you still have the paci. and though i thoroughly dislike it, i almost don't mind you having it at bed time...if only to keep you little for just a bit longer.

i love you sweet girl...

all pictures taken during our trip to san diego, january 2011...

thoughts on mary...

2010-12-28T21:55:00.000-08:00

i've been thinking a lot about mary lately.
mary: the mother of God.

i'm not sure the reason.
it might have something to do with the fact that i, myself, just had a baby and am in the throes of life a newborn.
or, perhaps, it has something to do with my increasing time as a mother...chalk it up to experience...
or maybe i'm just becoming more pensive as i grow older...thinking more deeply about things and taking less at face value.
whatever the reason, i find myself, sitting in front of the christmas tree, asking questions that i have no way of answering...

did she ever forget?
forget the wonder of that night?
it would be so easy to lose sight of God's wonderful plan and the majesty that had taken place that miraculous night in the daily routine of life, as she and joseph married and started adding to their family. life has a way of blinding our eyes...giving us tunnel vision...
did she ever get exasperated with Him and then immediately remember His divinity with a flush of guilt?
because, though He was God, He was also just a little boy. He may have been perfect but that didn't mean He didn't spill His milk...or get into the cupboards and spread flour all over the floor. i'm sure He messed His clothes right as mary was heading out the door. just because He was God didn't mean He didn't make His share of messes. because, as humans, we are prone to mess making.
i wonder if mary sighed as she stooped to sympathize with a skinned knee...
if she thought "i just want to sleep!!" as a baby's cries for milk shattered her slumber...
the pressure to be a perfect parent must have been so much greater as the mother of God...

the many faces of elijah man.

2010-12-11T18:42:00.000-08:00

the other day, i took the kids to the park to play. we were almost done, getting ready to head back home when elijah and i started having a pretty silly conversation. i had my camera out anyways so without even looking through the viewfinder, i just started shooting. i don't remember what we were talking about, i just remember we were giggling. a lot. when i finally had a minute to upload the pictures from that day (several days later), i fell in love with the images that popped up on my screen. these are the faces of my little boy...almost four years old...

little bits of lucy kate...

2010-12-11T16:51:00.000-08:00

oh my girl...

here's some bits of life with lucy:

she is a cheese ball!...

...loves to play in the pantry...

...always asks to be held at the most inopportune times (like during dinner prep or when i'm nursing naomi...)

oh...her giggle can melt your heart...

...LOVES to dance...especially on her tip toes...

...adores her little sister. whenever she sees her, she automatically starts chanting, "hi, nay-nay!"

...is soSO sweet...(most of the time! she's been known to take a whack at her brother a time or ten...)

...hates going to bed...

...and is just so stinkin' pretty!

we love our lucy girl...

sometimes you forget...

2010-12-11T16:05:00.000-08:00

sometimes in the midst of everyday, in the doings of life with littles, you forget how small they really are. and then...something like this pops up in your viewfinder and you're reminded of their vulnerability...

...and how tiny they really are.

one month old...

2010-11-30T16:17:00.000-08:00

...and her eyes are still blue. hoping beyond hope that they stay that way!!

john and i always used to joke that we'd just keep having kids until we got one with colored eyes. though i have blue (ish) eyes, john's are very, very brown and so are the rest of his immediate family's. our hopes were not high on having a child with colored eyes. however, naomi's are still clear and blue...both elijah's and lucy's clouded and turned brown within the first few weeks after birth. we're keeping our fingers crossed that naomi's stay the exact shade that they are now!

naomi grace: an introduction.

2010-11-07T15:51:00.000-08:00

(eta: this was supposed to post on the seventh...not sure why it didn't. maybe i forgot to press "post". wouldn't be the first time...)

it's the evening of november seventh.
two days after my "official" due date...
and my arms are filled with the sweet mingling scent of newborn.
she is already ten days old.
it's unbelievable to my brain that she has been here for ten days...
already.
never once while carrying this tiny being did i imagine that she would be an october baby.
i had my sights set on this day.
this november day.
this was the day i was working towards these past nine months.
it's only natural that i would expect her to be late considering the tardiness of her brother and sister. elijah was ten days late...lucy, five. so when my labor started late tuesday afternoon (only light contractions, i honestly couldn't tell if they were braxton hicks or gas bubbles), i was in complete denial. it was only after they didn't go away and gradually increased in intensity that i started to think that maybe...just maybe this little one was going to be early.
i was in no way prepared for her arrival.
i hadn't packed my bag for the hospital...
i hadn't bought diapers.
i hadn't even picked out a coming home outfit...
i was positive i still had two weeks to go.
but...she had different plans.
around dinner time on wednesday evening, my contractions were starting to get to the point where i had to stop what i was doing and really concentrate on something else. but they weren't very frequent and i was still able to handle them without much trouble. john and i made it through bath time, put the kids to bed and then i looked at him and said, "well...guess i better get my bag packed".
we started timing the contractions at that point (it was around nine o'clock) and i text messaged my brothers and sisters-in-law to let them know they were probably going to be uncles and aunts again sometime in the next 24 hours. i labored at home with john at my side (he was AMAZING, by the way) until about one in the morning when john called his mom to have her come stay with the kids.
we left for the hospital around one thirty.
i was strangely enough able to relax on the drive over there so once we got to the parking lot at the hospital, we just stayed in the truck for a while.
about two thirty though, i sat straight up and told john, "we've got to get in there, now".
we got into a labor and delivery room where i paced until the nurse was able to check me.
i was petrified i would only be dilated to a three (which was where i was at at my appointment on tuesday)...but i had already progressed to an eight.
thankful tears spilled down my cheeks as i told john, "we can do this".
a completely different tone and attitude from my previous two labors; they were filled with discouragement and doubts.
my ob/gyn showed up minutes after he was called (he must live right next to the hospital) and he broke my water.
at that point, i was dilated to a nine and was able to start pushing just a few contractions later.
three reallyREALLY hard pushes and our beautiful baby girl was born at 3.21am.
since we were completely unprepared for her early entrance to the world, we still hadn't picked out a girl's name...so she went without one until the next afternoon.
after debating back and forth for a bit, we decided on naomi grace.
naomi has several meanings: beautiful, pleasant and my joy and my delight.
the meaning of grace is pretty obvious but here it is anyway: favor or good will, the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. (there are other meanings but these are our favorites)
already, this little girl i'm holding in my arms personifies all those definitions and more. she is so sweet and tiny (as cliched as that sounds, it's completely true)...
and compared to her brother and sister, she is soso quiet!
she rarely voices her discontent unless her diaper is being changed when she'd rather be eating.
a good little sleeper, she prefers to cuddle in someone's arms but sleeps just fine by herself in her little bassinet at the foot of our bed.
i am so thankful that she figured out nursing quickly and hasn't had many problems with it, except for her tendency to fall asleep before she's really and truly finished (unlike her sister who had trouble throughout her first two months of life).
she is the perfect compliment to our family...and i can't wait to watch her personality develop.
and because a blog post isn't a blog post (especially one about a baby) without pictures, here's a "few" that i've taken so far...

a weekend at 50mm...

2010-10-25T21:11:00.000-07:00

(a word about the blog title: i forgot my camera bag at home but thankfully, grabbed my camera as i was walking out the door. it had my new 50mm lens on it...hence the name of this post)

the first weekend of october was...well...what was it?
it was fantastic.
it was completely refreshing.
it was the first time john and i had gone away by ourselves since before elijah was born (over four years ago).
it was about time.
certainly.
we debated long and hard the various locales we could visit for our weekend away...(seeing as there's so many fun destinations within a two hour drive from here).
we talked about half moon bay, sausalito, yosemite, monteray, san francisco, fort bragg (which is further than two hours...but not by much), sebastopol, etc. etc. etc.
we finally decided on south lake tahoe. we'd been there before but it had been years ago and during the winter. we found a fantastic deal on a room (more like a small condo) right at the base of heavenly ski resort.
without sounding cliche, it was heavenly.
our window looked out onto the gondola that shoots you up the mountain.
the mountain air was crisp, clean and so refreshing. (especially for this alaskan girl)
and, seeing as it was october, there was hardly anyone else there.
we didn't do much of anything...which was just fine by me.
friday night, we had dinner at a little pub we frequented during our previous visit before heading to bed...
saturday, we had a leisurely breakfast and then rode the gondola up the mountain. once there, we walked around, admired the views, imagined what it would be like when there was snow up there and then headed back down (in other words, we didn't stay long. it would have been fun to spend some time hiking around on the trails but seeing as i was eight months pregnant at the time, wearing crocs and a skirt, it wouldn't have been the wisest of activities). so, instead of fighting the lunch crowds, we drove around the lake a few miles. we wandered through an octoberfest in camp richardson, meandered down to the lake and soaked up some sun and history while exploring pope beach and its historical sites. while lingering over our late lunch, we watched black clouds roll in while thunder and lighting competed for spectacularity (is that even a word?). the rain poured down in torrents the likes of which i haven't seen in years. it was a beautiful, beautiful thing. seeing as this wasn't the best time of sight-seeing, we sloshed back to our room, turned on the fireplace (ha!) and the football game and had a most relaxing afternoon. the hotel restaurant tempted us downstairs around eight, where we enjoyed appetizers and the final minutes of the games.
sunday morning, we slept in and took our time getting breakfast and checking out of the hotel. we, again, didn't have any agenda but knew we didn't want to head straight home. so instead, we took the long way back, around the lake, stopping here and there and just generally enjoying each other's company. we finally pulled into truckee (pretty much the opposite side of the lake where we had been) around two in the afternoon where we indulged in the best lunch we'd had in a long, long time. if you're ever headed to truckee, be sure to stop in at moody's bistro and lounge. excellent, EXCELLENT food. i can't recommend it enough.
we turned tail and made our way down the mountain pass towards sacramento and eventually home. i can't say enough how relaxing it was to spend those uninterrupted hours with my love.
and i can't wait to do it again.
hopefully we won't wait another four years next time...

here's the pictures:

view during breakfast on saturday morning...that's the gondola that takes you up the mountain.

view of the lake from the gondola...

up at the top of the mountain, standing on the state line between california and nevada

just the two of us (well...i guess technically there was three of us!)

driving...

while fall was no where to be found back home, it was definitely visible up there! so pretty...

checking out some of the historical monuments at camp richardson...

sitting at the lake shore...right before the clouds rolled in...

the view from the bedroom doorway...

john sampled MANY different kinds of beer that weekend...i so wished i could've joined him!

us. (with firefly reflections from the bar countertop)

this was taken from a viewpoint off highway 88 (or was it 89? i can't remember) where you can see vikingsholm castle and the head of emerald bay. we didn't venture down to it...mainly because it was raining and because it required a bit of hiking...

such yummy food!!

skateboarding at sunset...

2010-10-22T16:46:00.000-07:00

oh...how i love these pictures. my boy is growing up so fast!! (all taken 26 july 2010)

flashback friday : let's go back to july.

2010-10-22T16:37:00.000-07:00

i never posted about the fourth of july. sad...but true. however, blogland is full of grace...so i can post about it now without repercussions. right?

maybe it's something about the chill in the air today, the soup simmering on the stove or the sweater i put on this morning (and haven't taken off) that makes these pictures seem so far away. regardless...here's a peek at our independence day celebrations:

our wee family in our patriotic attire. (what's the 4th of july without a flag shirt from old navy?)

so pretty in her red, white and blue...

me and my girl...

first corn on the cob...classic 4th of july fare.

diva lucy.

kiddos splashing...

oh my girl...she LOVES the water!

such fun on the slide...

our seafood feast! yum!!

grill master john and his loyal sidekick...(not that she had a choice in the matter!)

this one does NOT like fireworks. can you tell?

so he spent the entire evening like this: ^^

watching the boys start the fireworks up...

lu wasn't quite sure what to think...but she never cried. brave girl...

our humble fireworks spectacle

finally enjoying them...

farmer's market...

2010-10-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

the wee town we live in hosted their first farmer's market this past summer. every thursday evening, a section of main street was closed off to traffic and the local farmers peddled their produce. we didn't make it down there every week (especially in august since we were gone for almost the entire month) but we were able to go every other week, at least. it was such a treat getting 90% of our produce from local, organic sources. the way it should be! i sincerely hope it becomes a tradition and that they continue to add vendors each year. it would be wonderful to get our eggs and other grocery items from such a local venue!! here's a smattering of my favorite pictures taken at the market:

flashback friday : leapin' lizards.

2010-10-08T21:24:00.000-07:00

my sweet boy. he caught his first lizard this summer. he was SO excited. and i don't blame him! he did it all by himself, with no prompting from me or anyone else. he was just dinking around in the backyard while i prepared dinner...or so i thought. all of sudden, through the sliding screen door, he was yelling at me to "come see! come see my yizard!" (he still can't say his "l" sounds correctly so "lizard" comes out "yizard") i, in proud mama fashion, oooo-ed and ahhhh-ed to great effect. but dinner doesn't assemble itself (unfortunately) so i got him a little plastic container in which to house the lizard and went back to the kitchen. not without snapping these first, though:

just a few moments after i found myself back in my dinner preparing groove, an unmistakable wail reached my ears. assuming major injury, i scurried to the back door to find my son, waving his now empty hands, sobbing out unrelenting tears. it was a few minutes and many hugs and kisses later before i was able to discern that no part of his body was hurt; he was crying because he'd "yost" his "yizard". oh my. a sadder boy has never been seen. this was heartbreak of the truest sort. as i uncovered the story through my superb investigative skills, i soon discovered that he had made a plan to create a wee house for his new "pet"...and had set the lizard down so he could have both hands with which to dig. apparently, he didn't understand that the plastic container would have housed the lizard much better than the ground and that lizards run away from humans, even after they're caught the first time. my poor boy...lesson definitely learned the hard way.

seeing as i had to get back to dinner, i enlisted the help of john (who had just walked in the door). he came up with an ingenious plan. since lizards typically hang out in the same general locations, he and elijah would just watch out the window for the lizard to come back...then they'd sneak back outside and capture it once and for all. which is exactly what they did...

something to work on...

2010-10-08T20:56:00.000-07:00

since it's friday...this is supposed to be a "flashback" post...but i have other things weighing on my heart and mind...

just a few minutes ago, i was whining and wallowing. i was throwing myself a major pity party. alone, i was "responsibly" cleaning up the day's messes, while john was outside, playing with the kids. i so wanted to throw the dishrag down and join them but knew i needed to finish up "my job". i confess my reasons for continuing on were less than noble: i wanted to prove to someone (anyone!) that i really was a non-selfish, capable adult that could trusted to take care of her home when in fact, i was the polar opposite...selfishly whining to myself because i couldn't stop thinking of the unfair split of household chores. how, at the end of the day, it's always me that has to clean up the kitchen, pick up the toys and so on (which isn't entirely true). and also, how it's supremely unfair that when john comes home, he gets to leave his work at the office. when he's home, he's home. (not always true...but my pity party didn't allow for exceptions.) my work is never ending...it's always there! because even when i finish, there's another bum to be wiped or another dish to be washed or another mess to be cleaned up. his work is confined to an office...or a computer...or a phone...(see what i mean about whining?)
as i was bending over, picking up the same toys i pick up every night, wiping the same spot of floor i wipe every night, washing the same dishes i wash every night, sighing to myself...i heard my phone ding. an excuse to put everything aside had never been more welcomed. i clutched the phone and saw that i had a text message. hallelujah...someone cares! after responding to the message, i still wasn't ready to continue my "laborious tasks" so i clicked over to my inbox, where a message was waiting. it ended up just being spam but instead of getting up, i decided to read another email that i hadn't been able to read earlier. it was a feed from one of the blogs i subscribe to: passionate homemaking ("loving simple, natural and intentional living"). the post was entitled "let your work be your worship". (you can read the post here: http://www.passionatehomemaking.com/2010/10/let-your-work-be-your-worship.html) as i skimmed the text, i was instantaneously reprimanded in regards to the attitude in which i'd been allowing myself to wallow in while completing my chores. 1 corinthians 10:31 smacked me on the hand with its not-so-subtle reminder that i should be doing everything, EVERYTHING! to the glory of God. not just when i feel like it...but always. and not just the things i like doing...but everything. the verse doesn't leave much room to wiggle.
i'd like to say that i finished the dishes and general cleanup while whistling a jolly tune (which would be a complete and utter lie since i can't whistle...at all. not even a little bit...). i didn't whistle...or even sing but i certainly had a better attitude as i finished up. and i know there will be days when the drudgery and monotony of changing the same diaper, scrubbing the same toilet, folding the same clothes will drag me back into the pit of the pity party...but i'm hoping that this verse will somehow break through the whining and drag me back up and out of that yuckiness...
it's something to work on, i suppose.

another wordy wordless wednesday post

2010-10-06T15:17:00.000-07:00

eight years ago, today, this amazingly wonderful man asked me if he could pursue a "more than friends" relationship with me...

so glad i said yes.

it has been an incredible almost decade...can't wait to see what the next eighty years bring.

here's to us babe...us and our dreams. i love you...

wordless wednesday.

2010-09-15T16:11:00.000-07:00

(i know this is supposed to be "wordless" but a brief explanation: this picture was taken exactly a year ago today...and i still love it just as much as i did then...maybe even more.)

lucy kate at 15 months...

2010-09-03T16:21:00.000-07:00

lucy just had her fifteen month checkup on tuesday. here's a peek at my crazy girl...

50% for height and weight but poor girl's got a big head (75%)
her most commonly used words: dada, yi-yah (elijah), wow-wow (doggy), hi, meeze (more, please), ball, sigh? (outside), shooshoos (shoes), ah (car), us (bus), ain (train), 'ome (home, usually said as a question)
has started doing animal sounds (dog, cat, elephant, lion, etc.) her lion roar is the cutest one, only because she whispers it...though her meow is a pretty close second on the cuteness scale!
still has her elbow dimples! but is slowly losing her chunk-o-la thunder thighs...
any red truck she sees is immediately recognized as daddy's...
she loves her doggy and her new baby...and won't sleep without them
still only has six teeth (!) though number seven just broke the skin a couple days ago...
loves playing outside, getting dirty and wet with the hose or the sprinklers

she is the sweetest little cuddle bug but is definitely going through an independent stage right now.
she refuses to be fed by anyone but herself (though if i put her food on her spoon/fork and then set the utensil down, she'll eat it that way...which is usually WAY less messy).
she's finally started to sit down and watch some of the movies that her brother indulges in...she REALLY likes the curious george theme song. her dance moves are quite hilarious!
it's quite obvious that she misses her brother when he's gone off to preschool. if we come home in between dropping him off and picking him up (sometimes we run errands during that time), she walks around to each room in the house, poking her head round the door, saying, "'yihyah?". so stinkin' cute.
she loves music and dancing...especially to "the laurie berkner band". thanks to our neighbor for letting us borrow that cd!

we love our sweet little lucy girl!!

the name game.

2010-09-01T21:36:00.000-07:00

this post is written in response to all the comments posted on my facebook status update about our struggle to find the "perfect" name for baby number three...

every couple has their own "method", i'm sure. picking a name for your unborn baby is part of the exhilarating process of that nine month wait. it's a process, with many automatic rejections ("are you serious?" usually follows the suggestion), some "hmmm, that could be a possibility" type reactions and hopefully, just a few favorites. the process has been pretty simple for my husband and me. up until now, that is. we cannot agree on a baby girl name for this little one growing inside me. and, with only ten weeks to go, time is definitely not on our side.

of course, at the twenty-ish week ultrasound (ours was actually at twenty four weeks), we chose NOT to find out the gender of this baby so we don't really know if we need to have a girl's name. but on the fifty percent chance that we'll be adding another baby girl to the anaya family, obviously, we want to be prepared.

so...we search. or, more accurately, i search. i scour websites and books, scribbling possibilities on post-it notes and in the margins of my calendar. my eyes silently glide pages and pages of baby photographer websites and blog posts. then, i gather my lists and match the names up with their meanings. the meaning of the name is very important to us. if we don't like the meaning, it won't even be considered. most often, finding out the meaning to a certain name will decide if it makes it onto "the list". this list is the list that john sees. he reads through them and i know that he might like only one, if any, of the dozen or so written down. so far, he's only okay-ed one name and it wasn't a joyous "i love it!" type reaction. it was more like, "hmmm. that one's okay".

so...i start the process over again. and again. and again.

i've thought back through books that i've loved as a child: little house on the prairie, caddie woodlawn, anne of green gables, the meet the austin's series, ramona ... the list goes on and on.

i've also read through baby names books...which is an eye-straining experience, to be sure. mind boggling as well.

with our first pregnancy, it was easy. we had the name elijah (meaning: the Lord is God) johnathon (meaning: gift of God; also to include john's name) picked out before we were even married. it was a God given name that we both loved and were excited to give to our son. though we found out the gender of our first baby, we thought it would be a good idea to have a girl name just in case the ultrasound was wrong. so...we came up with lucy (light) kate (pure; and also to include my name) almost immediately. when the second baby came along, we decided we wanted the gender to be a surprise. we already had lucy kate picked out so we only had to come up with a boy's name. it's actually a pretty humorous story of how we landed on ezekiel (meaning: the strength of God) mckinley (meaning: learned ruler; and mainly, to pay homage to my alaskan heritage). john actually came up with it one sunday morning during church. he was supposed to be finding a scripture reference in proverbs but instead, elbowed me with obvious excitement, telling me that because he'd turned to ezekiel three times in a row instead of proverbs, it was a sign from God that we should name our next son ezekiel. insert a picture me rolling my eyes into this segment of the story. i muttered something about the fact that the book of ezekiel is pretty much in the exact center of the Bible so it's not really that surprising that turned there three times in a row and that he should really be paying attention to the sermon. instead of finding the proverbs reference however, john proceeded to read the entire book of ezekiel (not entirely in the service, he read it over the course of the day. but he never did engage with the sermon after that). he was SO convinced that our baby was a boy and that God had given him the baby's name right there in the middle of the nine o'clock service. i took a while longer to convince but the name slowly grew on me...especially when we paired it with mckinley. well...obviously, we did NOT bring ezekiel mckinley anaya home with us from the hospital that may day...it was lucy kate that accompanied us. and what a perfect fit that name is for our little girl. when you put the two names together with their meanings, it creates the phrase "pure light". lucy is definitely that for our wee family. she is a sweet little lightbulb, brightening our days with her endless smile.

needless to say, if this baby is a boy, his name will be ezekiel. however, in the girl name department,
i am seriously about to give up.

it's at this point though, i am reminded that i didn't name elijah and lucy...God did. and i'm not in charge of finding the perfect name for this child either. God already knows who is growing inside me! He knows not only whether this baby is a boy or a girl, but He knows the day they will speak their first word, He knows when they will loose their first tooth and He knows the exact hour they will experience their first kiss, their first day of college, their first true heartbreak.

He knows.

and i don't have to.

ah...the blessed peace in those words: He knows!

i will, of course, continue to search but will preface my search with prayers. prayers not only for the name God wants us to bestow upon this little one but that i would be worthy of this precious blessing coming so soon to our family!

i'll keep you posted...

a trek through the snow...

2010-05-21T15:20:00.000-07:00

today's flashback friday : all the way back to february.

when i was in alaska visiting my parents, i really wanted to head up into the mountains and go snowshoeing with my dad (and anyone else that wanted to come along...no one else did). our trip was quickly coming to an end, so the sunday afternoon before we headed home, my dad and i drove up to hatcher pass. it wasn't an incredible day weather-wise so i left my "big" camera at home and instead, grabbed my mom's little point and shoot. since i knew i wasn't going to be getting any spectacular views or anything, the little one worked out just fine. we had a fun trek through the snow...glad i was able to get some alone time with my daddy-o before we left...

snowshoes...

"whatcha lookin' at dad?"

it's a porcupine! apparently they hibernate in trees...who knew?

the little guy up close...

from whence we came...

me and my daddy!!

then...and now.

2010-05-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

happy birthday lucy girl...

so. funny story...

2010-05-06T16:20:00.000-07:00

so. funny story.

this past weekend, john taught elijah how to jump his bike off a little ramp he borrowed from the neighbors. he set it up so that elijah would land in the grass but still, bumps and bruises were inevitable.

thankfully, he only ended up with one skinned knee...and it really wasn't that bad. i don't think he even cried.

that evening in the bath, however, was a different story.

i was doing baths by myself that night which meant that not only was i the one scrubbing him down but i also didn't have much patience for whining and crying. of course, i couldn't figure out why he was crying. (i had forgotten about the knee injury.) and because he was crying, i also couldn't figure out what he was saying.

once he was rinsed and playing again, i asked him why he had had such a fit while i was washing him. he said it was because his knee hurt.

"ahhh...", i said, remembering. "did it sting?"

"no, mama. it screamed."

funny kid.

wordless wednesday.

2010-05-05T21:03:00.000-07:00

scenes from daily life

2010-05-03T21:15:00.000-07:00

early last week, we took the kids to the park to play. we learned a few things while we were there. #1 - i am SEVERELY allergic to something over there at stouffer park. i have never had such a bad allergy attack as i did while we were there. #2 - elijah is REALLY good at throwing a frisbee. now we need to work on catching. and #3 - lucy gets REALLY bad grass cuts when she plays at the park. poor baby...all cut up...

shame on me...

2010-05-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

yes. it has been more than a month since i posted last. i am officially a bad blogger. i was thinking the other day about quitting the blogger world...i've just been SO bad at it lately...it seemed silly to continue. but that got me thinking about why i blog in the first place. is it to be internationally recognized for my amazing talents and extraordinary beauty? ahem...no. the main reason i sit in front of this computer screen, staring at that blinking cursor is simply because i want a record of my life. as insignificant as it may seem to the rest of the world, it is my life and someday, i want my children and my grandchildren to have tangible evidence of the daily, mundane details of life lived. it's the same reason people used to sit down with pen and paper...to leave a legacy...and with that in mind, i couldn't walk away from it all. something is better than nothing, right?
so. in an effort to improve my blogging ability, i'm giving myself prompts. daily assignments if you will. so many times i sit down in front of the computer and cannot think of one single thing to blog about. seems silly since so many moments throughout the day i find myself composing posts in my head. with these following prompts, i hope to alleviate some of the writer's block i seem to be experiencing lately...

MONDAY - "scenes from daily life". i've already posted a few of these...they could include pictures or just a story taken from our everyday moments.
TUESDAY -"ten on tuesday". ten things that are going through my head that day...
WEDNESDAY - "wordless wednesday". a post with simply a picture. (this one i KNOW i can do!)
THURSDAY - "so. funny story". i just realized the other day that i start a LOT of stories this way...so i decided to turn it into a regular feature. we'll see how it goes...
FRIDAY - "blast from the past". a picture or story that i meant to write about but never got around to...

i'm not sure i'll be posting every day right away...it might take me some time to get into the habit of doing that...but i would like to be there someday. for now, at least, if i sit down in front of the computer on a tuesday, i know i have something to write about...

and now...what's a blog post without a picture?

lucy kate and her first piggys...

easter...

2010-04-09T11:40:00.000-07:00

it's so cliche...but still, so very true: holidays are much more fun with kids. if it weren't for the kiddos, we probably would have just gone about our day like any normal sunday: church, lunch with family, relax, then bed. but, when you've got little ones to entertain, there's an added dimension of fun thrown in...

the kiddos all ready for church...we ended up going to the saturday evening service. it was a little different not going on the actual day, but it was nice to be able to have a relaxed sunday morning.

the kids baskets, ready and waiting. i made them hide under the covers while i got the baskets set up; elijah kept peeking though...

lucy was taking too long (according to elijah)...so he helped her out...

everybody's happy and lucy won't let go of her puffs...

and now, it's time for the egg hunt!!

lucy totally got into it, with a little help from her auntie...while elijah cruised around the yard at an alarming rate of speed, collecting as many eggs as he possibly could...

and there's nothing like a little easter jello to top off a good day...

lucy kate: bush pilot.

2010-03-22T21:43:00.000-07:00

here's a story from our trip to alaska back in february. i have lots of friends that live up there that fly airplanes...and since i have a son who loves airplanes, i thought it would be fun to get him up close and personal with a real one. so, i started bugging my lifelong buddy, matt keller, to see if we could work something out. he was more than willing...so early one semi-cold, alaskan morning, the kids and i trooped over to palmer to check out his little plane. even with all my talk about the plane and what to expect beforehand, elijah would hardly go near it, let alone sit in it. so...lucy got to sit in it! (seeing as she really couldn't object) and now...elijah's fondest memories of "mr. matt's" plane is how he thinks lucy is going to be a pilot. *sigh*

matt took this picture. lucy was a little apprehensive around him...

i mainly set her in there so i could get some pictures without holding her...but she stayed put so we kept her there...and did this:

lucy kate: bush pilot!

this is about as close as he got...

this is me asking him if he's SURE he doesn't want to get in because this is his last chance before mr. matt flies away. he was emphatically sure.

and there he goes...

...off into the beautiful alaskan morning!

my lovely husband, grocery shopper extraordinaire.

2010-03-06T12:14:00.000-08:00

so. funny story. (i don't share enough of the funny bits of our life on here...)

since we were in alaska for three weeks (two of those weeks john was here by himself), the refrigerator got pretty empty, to say the least. john's not a big chef...at all...so he took most of his meals over at his parents house. he probably went without breakfast (so bad! shame on him!) and had lunch out with co-workers. but, being the lovely husband and father he is, on the day before our arrival, he did the unthinkable: he went to the grocery store. by himself. to buy food (and not just beverages). a momentous occasion. he was VERY proud of himself. so much so that he told me all about it during our last phone conversation before we boarded our first plane. funny guy. a couple good things came of his trip to the store. first of all, we were able to have a lovely breakfast on wednesday morning (our first morning home). secondly, he learned for himself how much food really costs and that i'm not inflating our grocery bill. a blessed thing (for me, anyways). but the funniest part of this story comes down to what he actually bought. here is the complete list:

milk (mad props to him because he actually bought organic milk! hooray!)
eggs (he did good here too and got the cage free kind i get...)
bread (english muffins, sourdough and whole wheat. goodness!)
cheese
baby yogurt (for lucy)
deli ham
sausage
bacon
hash browns
half n half

and that's it. well...he also bought some shaving cream and razors for himself...but i don't count those. when i asked him where the fruit and vegetables were, he kinda looked at me funny and said, "oh yeah. i knew i was forgetting something!" ha! so different from my trips to the store... since the majority of my purchases are from the produce section. we had a good chuckle over his typically male purchases.

i'm so thankful i have a husband that takes care of his wife and kids...even if he did forget the vegetables.

a little peek

2010-03-03T22:11:00.000-08:00

it's no secret i've been MIA from this blog once again. and once again, my reason is thus: i have been holed up in the great white north where blogging only exists in my head (at least for me it does). but...i am back on californian soil (though not completely willingly)...and once again, i am back with good blogging intentions. i have many memories and pictures to share but for tonight...i leave you with a brief peek at rachel and joel's wedding day! these were just few that popped out at me as i got my first look at the thousands of images i brought home with me. enjoy...

peyton is one!

2010-02-07T15:53:00.000-08:00

sweet miss peyton just celebrated her first birthday! it's been such a joy watching this little one grow up...she is precious!

some of our favorite books...

2010-01-26T15:07:00.000-08:00

most days, you can find elijah and me curled up on the couch (or on his bed) reading. we go through lots and lots of books in this house and try to visit our local library weekly. i was just thinking today about the books i was reading elijah last year ('trying to remember' is more accurate) and wanted to record some of our recent favorites. in no particular order:

"fletcher and the falling leaves" and "fletcher and the springtime blossoms"

by julia rawlinson

illustrated by tiphanie beeke

it's a rare treat when we find books that both elijah and i enjoy. these are two that were found at the library...i think we've checked them out at least three times. they're situated quite close to the curious george books so inevitably, if we go home with one of those, we most likely will bring one (or both) of these home too. it's probably about time i added them to our own library, i guess. they are beautifully illustrated with wonderful prose...i can't wait until the winter and summer stories join the collection.

"curious george" (the original) by h.a. rey

speaking of curious george, elijah loves this little story too. while he likes any and all stories about this adventurous monkey, nine times out of ten, he will choose the original book over all the others. i'm not quite sure why...but i find it interesting. i think it's great that this book was published in the 1940s and it's still read and cherished today...

"hansel and diesel" by david gordon

this is an updated version of the old fairytale, hansel and gretel...except in this story, the protagonists are trucks out looking for fuel in the junkyard instead of children out looking for food in the forest. elijah loves it...and got a copy of his own for christmas. the author has also written "the three little rigs" and "the ugly truckling" that we keep meaning to check out from the library but haven't yet. someday soon...

"smash crash" by david shannon, loren long, david gordon and jon scieszka

co-authored by david gordon (of hansel and diesel fame), this is a perennial favorite. there is a whole series of these books out, but this one is elijah's favorite, no question. thank you baba for this wonderful addition to our library (it was a present for his second birthday from my mom)!

and what about me? well...i've got quite the stack going. included in the bedside pile are:

"the sweetness at the bottom of the pie" by alan bradley (a mystery...might be on my 2010 favorites list)

"at home in mitford" by jan karon (a reread that i just can't put down!)

"a homemade life" by molly wizenburg (haven't started this one yet but looking forward to it!)

"animal, vegetable, miracle" by barbara kingsolver (started this but put it down in favor of "sweetness"...will pick it up again soon...it's good!)

"walking on water: reflections on faith and art" by madeleine l'engle (my all-time favorite author)

what are you reading these days?

kylie is one!

2010-01-23T17:35:00.000-08:00

kylie is a firecracker. one look at her hair will tell you that. but regardless of her fire-tinted locks, she is one awesome kid. here she is at one! we were so blessed to get a sunny afternoon; it's been raining non-stop (literally) all week.

on this day in history...

2010-01-22T13:24:00.000-08:00

i am sure that there are many notable and historical events that happened on 22 january. someone probably discovered this...someone invented that. maybe a celebrity died...or got married. perhaps a nation went to war, or one was founded. i am sure that some significant events have happened on this day. however, though it will never appear in any history books, in wikipedia.com or in any celebrity gossip rag, a life-changing affair took place in stockton, california at four o'clock on a saturday afternoon, 22 january 2005. john and i were married! it hardly seems possible that our wonderful ceremony was five years ago...it seems so many lifetimes ago but also, just yesterday. it was an amazing day, one that i'm excited to celebrate for years and years and years to come.

here's some moments from our day:

elijah at the movies.

2010-01-19T14:47:00.000-08:00

so. i took elijah to his first movie at the theater last friday. we met some good friends there to see "the princess and the frog". (as an aside, john wasn't thrilled that his son's first cinema experience involved a "girly" movie...but oh well.) on our way to the theater, i explained to elijah what was going to happen and described the big screen and the comfy seats and the concession stand. he did just fine during the show (though he was a bit nervous about the bad guy and his minions), i'm fairly certain his favorite part of the whole ordeal was the candy.

e and ducky getting ready to go inside...

apparently, the best time to go to a movie is on a friday afternoon. there was NO ONE there...we were the only ones in the theater!

the crew (minus me and alyssa): (from l to r) elijah, payton, kim and anna

e and his favorite babysitter, alyssa!

top of the morning to ye...

2010-01-19T14:30:00.000-08:00

i took these of lucy kate this morning. love it when she wakes up happy and smiley! love my baby girl.

my big three year old...

2010-01-15T17:45:00.000-08:00

i've been meaning to do a post like this for a while...
i call them memory posts...because they help me remember all the precious little tidbits of life that seem to get sucked into the neverland of my brain.
so...this memory post is about elijah man. my little dude.
he's three now.
crazy.
he is such a BIG boy.
every day, he amazes me...and i love that.
yesterday, he said the word "earth" correctly. and while that may not sound like much to most, his utterance of that little word stopped my tedious scrubbing of the kitchen floor. i looked at him, and asked him to say it again. he said, "what? earth?" just like that. not "erff", which is how it's been said since that word entered his vocabulary, but "earTH". i am proud of him, yes, but also a little sad. it's another fragment of my baby boy that has been whisked away by that dreadful process of growing up. speaking of talking, he is a chatterbox! he's always going on about something...usually, the latest truck he needs for his collection. i'll do my best to remember his sweet, little voice during his sullen, teenage years...

he's tall for his age. a characteristic that i know he will outgrow, considering his heritage. but for now, he's tall and skinny. he still has yet to hit the 30 pound mark. 29.3 pounds at his checkup in december. i always said he was an active little guy, and he is, but lately, he can be found playing quietly in the playroom with his trucks. he pops his head out every 15 minutes or so, just to check that all is still well, but he'll play in there as long as i let him really. an interesting shift from six months ago when he had to be entertained most of the day. though, if someone is available to play with him, he is more than happy to have some company!

a few of his favorites:
- curious george. books or the television show...he doesn't care. he just loves that monkey. we went to the library the other day and without any guidance from me, he marched himself and lucy (in the stroller) ahead of me over to the exact section where the curious george books are stashed. he pulled out a couple and i could hear his little voice telling his sister, "look 'ucy! it's curious george! this one is the one that he goes to park with the dump truck..." and on and on and on...
- trucks, trucks and more trucks. lately, he can't get enough of his mac trucks (from the movie "cars"...he has three and is always telling me that he needs a blue one.). he also loves construction vehicles and tractors. and though dirt bikes and motorcycles have been left to collect a bit of dust in favor of four wheeled vehicles, i have a feeling they won't remain in their bin forever.
- his ducky. he still drags that blue duck around with him everywhere. i wonder when he will outgrow him? that will be a sad day...
- his buddy connor. i love that they get along SO well. they are fabulous friends. that is one playdate during which i don't ever have to worry about him or wear the referee hat. it's a good thing i like his mom so much!
- asking "how come?". this is my lil man's version of "why?". most days it drives me crazy, but i really try to encourage his curiosity and to answer him as best i can.

i know there's more i could say about my elijah-man...and i will add it on here as i remember it. but for now...here's a few more pictures...

jenson family love...

2010-01-15T17:10:00.000-08:00

after being rained out on our original session date, i was finally able to meet up with these three back in december. we had fun at the park while we grabbed some christmas present pictures! love these smiles...

scenes from daily life

2010-01-14T16:20:00.000-08:00

some days i feel like this is all lu does...

*sigh*

better late than never...

2010-01-13T20:16:00.000-08:00

this was our christmas picture for 2009. it was taken in january, however. i love that it is so typical of us:

in our cozies...

lucy flapping away...

elijah so serious with his ducky posed just so...

i'm not wearing an ounce of makeup...

john smiling in the midst of it all...

it's us. just the way we are.

and i love it.

here's the rest of our christmas pictures (these were from the actual day. i made elijah changed into his christmas jammies before i would let him go downstairs!):

the newest member of my family.

2010-01-12T20:17:00.000-08:00

maybe the title of this post gave you pause...maybe it didn't. regardless, an explanation: i've always called my camera my "other" child. and it's no secret to any one that knows me even a little bit that my camera is almost like a third arm. thus, when i say i have a new member of my family, i'm really talking about my new camera.
a little history behind this recent addition: earlier this year, i was not planning on buying a new camera; my little canon 20d had served me well for for the past five years and it was still going strong. however, as the year progressed, i started doing more and more sessions with people other than my family. actual paying clients!...quite a step up in the world. and though my camera still continued to do its job, every once it a while, it would hold me back. so, i started thinking about it...this buying a new camera business. and of course, once the thought had been planted in my brain, it was all i could think about (in relative terms). and then, in the latter part of november, i was handed the ultimate gift: the bride of the wedding i will be shooting in february paid me in full. i had planned on using that money to purchase the camera, and here it was, in my hand, two months earlier than expected. i had already done my research: the canon 5d mark II was the camera for me. and although my husband claims it doesn't look any different than my old canon 20d...they are millenniums apart. i won't go into all the technical blather, suffice it to say: this camera is awesome. i feel like i have barely scratched the surface of its radness (which isn't a word, i know...however, this camera is so incredible, it's allowed to make up its own words). i can't wait to allow it to "stretch its legs" during a few shoots i have lined up and then at the wedding in february. definitely excited about my photographic future with this camera in my hands. now...i just need some new lenses to go with it (i'm only slightly kidding).

here's some of my favorites so far:

the first image taken with my new canon 5d mark II

not the greatest image ever, but considering the fact that it was taken at 1600 iso and there's not even a hint of digital noise, i bow at its awesomeness. want to see a comparison? this next picture was taken with my old camera, the 20d, at 1600 iso, and though i'm glad to have the memory, all i can say is: YUCK!

back to the new camera:

i just realized...

2010-01-05T17:54:00.000-08:00

...i never did a post about our trip to florida. yes...that was back in october...but oh well! i'm going to blog about it anyway.

john was awarded this trip for his excellent work in 2008. he was in the top 25 loan officers in his company (which is one of the largest in the nation and has hundreds of employees). thankfully, he was given a trip for two, so i got to come along. we decided to have elijah stay with his grandparents, mainly because we would have had to pay extra to bring him along but also because we knew it would be hard to relax with his boundless energy accompanying us. lucy, on the other hand, was barely five months and not yet sleeping through the night (she's STILL not) so we felt she would be too much for john's parents to handle. and while having her along did decrease the amount of relaxation we (or should i say "i"?) were able to participate in, it really wasn't that big of a bother to bring her along. and though she won't remember a single moment of the entire trip, i like to think that she enjoyed herself too.

so...here's a few pictures...mostly of lucy kate...but also of the beautiful area we stayed at: san marco island.

lu's second time in a pool...but the first time that she enjoyed it. she cried when we took her out...

the most AMAZING poolside drink EVER...i forget what they called it but it was basically half strawberry daiquiri and half pina colada. yum. pure yum.

she looks so tiny!

lucy's first dip in the ocean. she didn't love it...and i don't blame her. it was cold!

my favorite thing...room service!

top twelve...

2010-01-04T20:55:00.000-08:00

last year, i did a post at the beginning of the year that featured a collage of my favorite twelve pictures from the previous year...one from each month. i really liked that idea...so i'm doing it again. it's so amazing to go back through a year's worth of pictures...we have had such a blessed year! it's so easy to see what i find most important in my life and what i value most just by looking at the pictures i chose to represent 2009: my family and friends and the memories that were made with them. here's to more of the same...

first bathtub mohawk...finally enough hair in january.

high rise views of san francisco...february

playing in the sand at pismo...march

last family portrait before three became four...april

lucy kate is here!...may

luke and heather get married in julian, ca...june

4th of july parade in wasilla, alaska...july (obviously)

snuggles with my girl in pinecrest...august

fun with friends up at pine mountain lake...september

the three of us in florida...october

sweet family time with baba and papa...november

love this sweet face...december.

scenes from daily life

2009-12-29T21:55:00.000-08:00

ever since lucy figured out how to open the bottom drawer (it holds tupperware lids), she can be found digging through it several times a day. lately, she pulls herself to standing and tries to open the drawer above which usually ends in tears due to smashed fingers...

for papa...

2009-12-29T21:21:00.000-08:00

when my parents were here several weeks ago, my dad and elijah spent some quality time out in the backyard making roads. after they went back home, my mom informed me that my dad had mentioned the lack of good road making equipment in our backyard. thus, part of their christmas present to elijah this year was a trio of new trucks with the backyard in mind. we tested them out the day after christmas at the local park; they have a sand pit there that elijah loves. these pictures are for you, papa!

oh mackenzie!

2009-12-28T19:43:00.000-08:00

this little sweetheart is lucy's "almost" twin. she was born, literally, 30 hours before lucy. they are great friends already! we had mackenzie and her older sister (who is only a couple months younger than e!) over for a playdate and i grabbed a few pictures of this precious girl...

lucy and mackenzie play...

the james family...

2009-12-28T19:39:00.000-08:00

it is so much fun when a family asks me to do another session with them. i did macie's one year pictures back in october and was thrilled to do the whole family at the beginning of this month. they were seriously troopers as it was freezing that day. i'm pretty sure that the next day was the morning we got snow here in ripon (unheard of for this area). here's a sampling of the images i got...

the humphrey family

2009-12-28T19:34:00.000-08:00

still playing catch up here...i did this shoot back in november. i was invited to spend the afternoon with the humphrey family in livermore, in the most beautiful sycamore grove. i'm definitely going to go back there to shoot again. we had a wonderful time tromping through the grove, fighting the wind, even though the little one was ready for a nap. here's a few of my favorites...

family fun...

2009-12-26T20:11:00.000-08:00

it's time to play catch up but first, here's a peek at a session i did just today. so much fun hanging out in the country...with a beautiful family!

baby jacob...finally!

2009-12-26T18:11:00.000-08:00

i've been wanting to post these shots of baby jacob since i took them a month ago...but they were surprise christmas presents so i had to wait. finally, christmas is over so i can show off this precious little boy! we had lots of christmas fun with him, even though he was a thanksgiving baby. love that he just conked out for me...so sweet!

mom, shannon, wanted some pictures of her two boys in their christmas jammies for their christmas card...which i was more than happy to do. we got some really sweet ones:

but this is the one that cracks me up, simply because it shows the true story: poor jacob was getting bumped and jostled by his crazy brother. it totally looks like he's saying: "can't a guy get some peace and quiet around here?"!

and one last thing...elijah had to get in on the action with his buddy...note the jammies.

oh dear...

2009-12-21T16:12:00.000-08:00

my poor neglected blog. it's been a long time...much too long. i could make all kinds of vain excuses but i think i will skip those for today. it goes without saying that a lot has happened since i last posted a month ago. and of course, i have grand plans to get on top of things and update my little blog world. but for now...i leave you with this:

three years ago...

2009-12-16T16:12:00.000-08:00

...this one was born.

man...what a handsome dude.

blast off birthday party

2009-12-15T16:14:00.000-08:00

every year, we struggle to decide if we're going to have a birthday party for elijah or not. poor guy has a december birthday just like his mama...it really stinks. after a big tada for his first birthday, we just had a small get together with immediate family last year so we decided to go for it this year. i mean, three really is a big deal, right? and despite my original trepidations, it went well. other than the pinata, the birthday boy had a great time. we just met at pizza plus here in ripon for pizza, cake, presents and a pinata. good times were had by all...

my new favorite picture...

2009-11-22T16:21:00.000-08:00

yes...elijah made this face in EVERY picture. *sigh* and so it begins...the silly picture faces. oh well. LOVE this picture anyways...and miss my parents so very much. we took this right before we got in the car to drive them to the airport...

pretty peyton.

2009-11-21T20:52:00.000-08:00

and once again i am blown away by how fast time flies. peyton is a regular here on this blog...can't believe she's almost ten months. and oh so pretty...

pumpkin head number two.

2009-11-08T14:58:00.000-08:00

i knitted a lot of pumpkin hats this fall. a LOT. twelve, i think. however, all twelve were destined for other cute little heads...my poor children were pumpkin hat-less. anticipating some good photo opportunities at the pumpkin patch, i decided to remedy that situation. elijah's hat was knitted up in about an hour as i used the same pattern i'd used for all the other hats (i had it memorized). with some super bulky yarn, it knitted up FAST (you can see a picture of his in my "october festivities" post). lucy's hat took a bit longer since i used a lighter weight yarn and a different pattern (actually, the pattern i used for elijah's first pumpkin hat which is too stretched out for lucy's head). i found myself frantically knitting at 11pm the night before we were scheduled to go to the pumpkin patch. i finished it in time, thankfully, and i'm so glad i did. it is so cute on her! i wasn't really able to get any fantastic pictures of the two of them in their semi-matching hats...but i got a ton of super cute ones of lucy. i just plopped her down into a bin full of pumpkins and shot away. i was interrupted several times by onlookers announcing her extreme cuteness and also curious if i had knitted her hat myself. i wish i had brought some business cards along with me! anyways...without further ado: my little pumpkin head...

(this one ^^ is not so much cute as it is funny...and very appropriate...as she's putting anything and everything in her mouth right now. we took that pumpkin home with us...)

pretty mama.

2009-11-07T16:59:00.000-08:00

i love maternity shoots. there's so much anticipation built into those last few weeks of pregnancy. this beautiful belly belongs to my dear friend, shannon. i love shooting her because she's so relaxed in front of the camera...that, and she'll do pretty much anything i ask her to do! ;o) i love the way these turned out...they're so much different than the ones i did with her first, noah (who was featured in a post a few weeks ago). can't wait to meet little jacob...

october festivities...

2009-11-06T14:28:00.000-08:00

october is just the beginning of the holiday madness. we didn't do much leading up to halloween...mainly because i'm not a huge fan of the day. however, we did make a trek over to the pumpkin patch and the kiddos went trick o' treating on saturday evening (well, lucy went to one house before she decided she was done). i had prepped elijah a bit beforehand, coaching him in what to say once he got up to the door. he had a very articulate "trick o' treat" followed by "thank you! happy halloween!". as we walked around the neighborhood, i could hear his sweet little voice saying it just right. i was a proud mama... ;o)

kylie poo.

2009-11-05T21:03:00.000-08:00

poor kylie. cutting a tooth and still we made her pose for the camera. such a cutie regardless!

life around these parts...

2009-11-03T14:57:00.000-08:00

you know life is busy around here when the blog posts are few and far between. i hope to get caught up soon but for now, here's a peek in pictures at what's been going on in the anaya household:

elijah rode his motorcycle BY HIMSELF.

lucy traveled with john and i to florida.

lucy got a highchair finally...

we went to the pumpkin patch!

halloween! (excuse the horrible noise on this picture...my camera settings were WAY off...and this was the best shot of the night)

i did a maternity shoot with my friends bryan and shannon (and their little boy noah...he was featured in his own post a few weeks ago).

i hope to do individual posts on each of the pictures but we'll see if it actually gets done. my intentions are good though!

the girls next door.

2009-10-17T14:51:00.000-07:00

we love our neighbors. couldn't ask for better people to live next door to us! these are their little girls. they have frequented this blog several times but this is the first time i got to do an official session with them. they are such happy little girls and i love them to pieces.
steph - i'm in love with how these turned out...and there's a ton more really fun ones. i got more good ones of kymber than i thought! hope you love these few as much as i do...i'll get the rest to you when i get back...xxoo

look out ladies...here comes noah!

2009-10-17T14:19:00.000-07:00

can someone say heartbreaker? 'cause that's what this little guy is. noah is one of elijah's little buddies...can't believe he's three already! i remember taking pictures of him in the hospital. that means my little man isn't far behind...crazy. hope you love them shannon. i'll have the rest done when i get back...

little miss macie - a second look

2009-10-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

sometimes when i first look through my shots from a shoot, i overlook some real keepers. this shoot with miss macie is an excellent example of that. how could i miss these? so so sweet...

on my mind...

2009-10-08T21:26:00.000-07:00

it has been quiet around here on the blog front. only because it has NOT been quiet around here in reality. this blog is first and foremost a place where i can jot down (type down?) my thoughts while i can so i can remember what life was like for me right now when "someday" comes. so...with that in mind...here's some things running through my brain at the moment. they are scattered, true to life.

1. florida. don't know if this trip is going to pan out or not. john was awarded this trip for his amazing work last year. he was one of the top twenty mortgage advisers in his company (which just happens to be the fourth largest mortgage company in the country). go him. we had originally planned to go, john, lucy and i, while elijah stayed home with john's parents. we decided to do this primarily because we would have had to pay for e's airline ticket (lucy flies free because she's under two). however, we just found out that john's mom can't get the time off from work. kind of frustrating because she's known about this for several MONTHS. (i'm trying so hard not be annoyed) after realizing that my mom couldn't feasibly come down to hang out with elijah, we considered taking him with us. which would be fine, except that it would cost around $1500. um...we just don't have that kind of money. so. current thinking? i get to stay home with the kids while john goes to florida and schmoozes his boss. *sigh*

2. lucy is crazy. she's hilarious. seriously hilarious. sitting up, giggling, rolling all over the house...i'm gonna have my hands full with this one. she's also in the midst of a growth spurt...waking up every three hours at night again. can't wait until she's back to sleeping six-seven hours at a time...

3. what's for dinner? the perpetual question.

4. knitting. i have four outstanding knitting orders that i really should be working on...can i get them done before this weekend?

5. looking for a milk delivery service and trying to think of a way to explain the necessity of it to my husband.

6. why do i always feel behind? failing? utterly under appreciated? i'm drowning in the daily, the mundane. this isn't what i signed up for, is it?

7. elijah. oh, how i love that boy...but how he irks me! so sweet one minute, hitting me and talking back the next (one reason i don't want to leave him with a sitter to go to florida). is this a delayed reaction to lucy's arrival? how can i nip this disrespect? what haven't i tried yet? how can i increase my patience stores with him?

8. halloween costumes. elijah changes his mind every day. today he said he wants to be a dinosaur (complete with the roar). yesterday he wanted to be an owl. the day before? a crocodile. the day before that? woody from toy story (only because connor is going to be woody). he has a pirate costume that he refuses to wear...and i found an astronaut costume that would work. do i just buy it an hope for the best? and what about lucy? old navy has a cute skeleton bodysuit in her size. decisions. decisions.

9. come on, lucy! go back to sleep!

10. christmas is only twelve weeks away. what? ooph.

11. what to do with all the zucchini, yellow squash, apples and green beans i have in my fridge. time to start the dehydrator up again i suppose. and maybe make lots of zucchini bread? i saw a recipe for zucchini cookies...i might have to try that.

12. i love simple mom. i just read an article on there entitled, "how to live dangerous in marriage". fantastic stuff. one of the points it brought up was about when one partner grows and changes without involving their spouse. i wonder if i've been doing that with john. i'm reading and growing passionate about "greening up" our lifestyle...moving away from him in that area. perhaps his reluctance to change is due to an feeling of intimidation? hmm...might be something we need to talk about...

13. (a baker's dozen) i know there are a zillion more things i could write about. but i should probably stop here. because there are a zillion more things i need to be doing right now...responsibility calls.

the rios/hernandez familia

2009-10-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

what a beautiful family! four generations...what a blessing.

so privileged to be able to capture them...

little miss macie

2009-10-05T20:44:00.000-07:00

little miss macie is one!

i got to spend a fun hour with her and her parents this past weekend.

she is full of energy and joy!

santa cruz loves the reedy's!

2009-10-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

i got to spend a fun afternoon in santa cruz with these five yesterday. these are just a few of the shots that caught my eye as i was uploading their images. tons of sunshine on these happy faces!

family hawk (that's for you alyssa)

2009-09-29T21:05:00.000-07:00

doesn't it look like a nice, cool fall day?

no one would ever guess that it was nudging 100*.

the hawkinson's and i got together here in ripon sunday afternoon to document their family before their youngest daughter flies away to spain.

we shared lots of laughs while we sweated through these fun pictures.

alyssa, you will be missed!

an update on life.

2009-09-28T17:26:00.000-07:00

our little boy has been sick, sick, sick, sick. so very sick.
it all started last friday afternoon (the 18th).
john was out of town for work...and e was driving me crazy.
so i put him down for a nap early and noticed he felt warm.
took his temp...103. dang.
i rarely give my kiddos tylenol or motrin or any of that stuff.
usually if they have a fever, it's a low grade one so i just let the fever do its thing. (low grade fevers are usually a good thing...high fevers, like e's was, aren't so good)
i canceled our evening plans and hoped he'd feel better in the morning.
i ended up calling the after hours doctor at 11.30pm because e's fever had now reached 104.7 and the tylenol wasn't doing a thing to lower it.
after some kindly words from the on-call pediatrician, i pulled him into bed with me (john wouldn't be home until the morning) and tried to sleep.
of course, i couldn't sleep.
around five am, i felt his head and in my delirium, it felt cool. only then was i able to sleep until lucy woke up at eight to nurse.
i honestly think God made elijah's head feel cool to me so i could get some sleep because when i woke up in the morning, he was as hot as ever.
we waited for john to get home, then took him in to the saturday clinic.
after an initial exam, the ped really didn't see any huge problem until i told her how high his fever had gotten the night before. she ordered blood work (not fun when the nurse couldn't find his poor little vein!) and it looked like he was getting a bacterial infection.
antibiotics for elijah-man.
fast forward to midnight saturday night/sunday morning. john and i are startled out of sleep by deep, hacking coughs between shallow, labored breaths. scary. and really not cool.
he was still running a super high fever (though the motrin helped some) and now he couldn't breathe? we decided to take him to the e.r.
john took him while i waited at home with lucy. (we didn't want to expose her to whatever nasties were waiting in the emergency room. but it was torture for me staying at home. another sleepless, prayer-filled night.)
john and elijah got home around 2.30am with the news that elijah most likely had the H1N1 virus, more commonly known as the swine flu. we had a prescription for tamiflu, an anti-viral medication.
he took that along with the broad spectrum antibiotic prescribed to him at the clinic until wednesday when i called his pediatrician because he STILL had a fairly high fever (101-102) and that lovely, hacking cough.
she got him an appointment that morning. the pediatrician that saw him (his usual one was called out) was so very helpful. she ordered a chest x-ray to check for pneumonia and just really listened to our concerns. so refreshing in a pediatrician!
e got the x-rays done (much less traumatizing than the blood draw!) and we waited for the results.
we took him in on thursday morning and received the diagnosis that he most likely had the H1N1 virus with a secondary infection of walking pneumonia. fun, right? poor guy.
so...he was prescribed a different antibiotic to help rid his body of the pneumonia. friday morning (the 25), a full week after his first signs of illness, he was fever-free. we had a fairly normal weekend, except he was a bit more tired than usual, still coughing and still hadn't quite got his appetite back. then sunday night (last night), lucy woke up to nurse burning up with fever. i was in tears, simply because i was so exhausted from the previous week's drama and interrupted nights. but, since we caught it early, she's already on the medication. her fever is controlled by infant tylenol (something that elijah's wasn't) and her cough doesn't interfere with her breathing like elijah's did. she's mostly her normal happy self; just a bit more cranky around naptime than usual. as long as she keeps nursing, i'm not too worried about her...she'll pull through!
now...i've just got to get caught up on some sleep and some housework. poor john hasn't had a home cooked meal in ten days! but not to worry, i've got seafood chowder simmering downstairs as i type.
throughout this whole ordeal, i've been so blessed and amazed by the power of prayer. God is so good, even when you're holding your baby, wondering why this is happening to your little one. He is good, all the time, ALL the time.

sweet lucy girl.

2009-09-27T17:31:00.000-07:00

here's lucy at four and a half months.

so so so pretty!

riding around.

2009-09-27T14:14:00.000-07:00

this little honda has been john's since he was four years old. his dad bought it for him when, after trying to complete a jump with his little battery powered three wheeler and failing miserably (complete with a scar on his chin to prove it), john insisted that he needed a faster motorized bike. apparently, his dad agreed and came home with this little fifty. it's solid as a tank, and weighs almost as much. it's much too heavy for elijah to ride by himself (thankfully) so john sits on the back to keep it balanced and to help if needed. this was the first time lucy got to ride on it though and while she wasn't squealing with delight, she wasn't shrieking with fear either. the jury's still out on her, i guess. i don't love that they do this, but elijah loves it and as long as they stay safe, i don't mind too much. john finally went out and bought elijah a motorcycle helmet this weekend, so that eases my mind a bit more.

2009-09-26T14:18:00.000-07:00

my water baby.

elijah hasn't always loved the water...but this summer, he's become much more comfortable in and around it. he still prefers small amounts of it; these pictures are an excellent example of that. he's still a bit tentative with pools but is getting better. we haven't been around the ocean this summer at all, so i don't know what he'd do with that...maybe next summer he'll be ready for his first dip in the pacific.

who needs a double stroller?

2009-09-25T14:31:00.000-07:00

we've avoided getting a double stroller so far into this two kid business, simply because a new stroller isn't really in the budget and i haven't found any used ones that i like. actually...i haven't found any used ones. so...the other day when we were walking home from the park, elijah asked me to carry him. it was getting close to both lunch and naptime, and he was pooped from playing hard on the play structure. i didn't have the energy to carry him, so i plopped him down on the little fabric piece that connects the stroller seat to the stroller frame. it worked beautifully. i will still continue to look for that illusive double stroller but for now, this works.