i've been listening to lucy cry upstairs, in her doorway, intermittently, for the last forty five minutes. due to her nightly escapades, we were forced to finally buy a gate for her doorway. tonight was its debut. needless to say, it did not win any awards in the eyes of the two year old. she managed to knock it down three times, until i screwed it in there as tight as it would go (i was actually worried it was going to break). she hasn't succeeded in taking it down yet. so instead, she's hanging over the side, sobbing her little heart out. well, she was until about ten minutes ago when i went up there and guided her back to her bed. i probably shouldn't have but i was worried that all her hysterics would wake her sister. in my sympathetic venture up the stairs, i finally figured out why she was having such a fit. turns out, she'd dropped her curious george stuffed toy over the edge of the gate and was beside herself with grief over their separation. oh the drama of being two...
today, at the farmer's market, i had two different people tell me how much they wished their children were little again. "cherish these moments!" they said. and though, in my heart, i know what they're saying is sound advice, i unwittingly find myself dreaming of the day when they're a little more self sufficient. a little more obedient. a little less needy of me.
i try not to wish these days away...because i know those ladies at the farmer's market are right. i know because i'm already missing "those" days. i'm missing the days elijah didn't feel the need to contradict everything i say. i miss the days lucy would fall asleep in my arms. i miss the days i didn't have to monitor what toys were laying on the floor because of naomi and her adept military crawl. i miss the sleepy, squishy newborn stage...not enough to want another baby just yet...but enough to wish my babies still were...babies. one could argue that naomi really is still a baby, however, with her newfound mobility and incessant desire to be wherever her siblings are, doing whatever they're doing, she seems much less of an almost seven month old...
it's just been one of those days...weeks...months. nothing got checked off the to-do list, the house is still a disaster from lucy's birthday party and there are ants in the bathroom, yet again. i just needed to vent a little frustration, i suppose.