07 August 2006

bellybuttons, little boys and big bellys...

i made a startling discovery today. i have a little mole/skin tag in my bellybutton! after twenty-five years of not knowing what the depths of my endless pit of an "innie" actually contained (kinda gross thought...i know...) i finally know! it took being pregnant to stretch it out enough so i could actually see inside. my pregnant friend (who's due in september) says i'd better enjoy it since i'm not gonna be able to see it much longer...which is ok by me...cuz really...i don't need to know what's in my bellybutton.

we found out last week that i have a little boy growing inside me! little elijah jonathon. i was actually a little surprized...i really was expecting a it to be a girl!...almost to the point of betting on it. not that i have anything against boys...i just felt like the little flutters inside me were coming from a girl. my pregnancy's been so different from everyone else's that's expecting a boy...that and i'm still barely showing and it seems like everyone else got super huge super fast! just goes to show that those old wives tales really are just that...fiction!

it's so funny how many people are pregnant with boys! me, my friends shannon and wendy and two of john's cousins...there's probably more that i'm forgetting. our little elijah certainly won't be lacking in the friends department! i pray that our little guy will be a strong spiritual leader of all his little buddies.

now that i know we're having a boy...i find myself thinking about what he'll be like. i suppose that's only natural and that every parent wonders about things like that but i can't help wondering whether he'll be like his dad: strong and independent but with a hidden soft and cuddly side or if he'll be more like me: slightly introverted and shy but with a hidden kooky and silly side or will he be a mixture of the two? a most of all...what on earth is he gonna look like? some couples you can just look at them and predict what their kids will look like down to the dimples but when you start off with parents that are so completely different to begin with like me and john...who knows what you'll end up with! he could have dark skin like john or super light skin like me or have a permanent tan...he could have brown eyes like john or blue eyes like mine...his hair could come out light or dark, straight or curly, thick or thin. most likely he'll be short and his hair won't grow in for a while but just because john and i both share those characteristics doesn't mean our children will. what a fun surprize it will be to see him for the first time! especially to examine him from head to toe figuring out which specific character trait or facial feature came from which parent.

i'm definitely starting to feel more pregnant these days. most of my "normal" shirts aren't long enough to cover my belly (or the lovely elastic of my maternity pants) any more. i'm already tired of my limited selection of maternity shirts so i'm having to get pretty creative with my clothes. i suppose it could be worse though...i could have to wear those awful maternity clothes my mother was forced to wear! i'm still pretty ok when it comes to sleeping...thankfully (i'm trying to enjoy it while i can!)...i only get truly uncomfortable when my uterus is stretching out to accomodate my rapidly growing child. i swear my belly gets bigger every day! he's moving around a lot more too...or at least i can feel his movements a lot more. john still can't feel them very well since they're more like ticklings and flutters than actual kicks. he always seems to wake up around bedtime...maybe because he knows it's storytime! i'm reading the chronicles of narnia to him every night...

my mom just sent me a box of baby clothes and books last week. YAY for fun packages from my super fun mummy! and as i was taking the tags off and getting ready to wash them (they're so little and cute!)...i started thinking about holding little elijah in my arms...him all cuddled up in the yellow ducky shirt i was holding in my hands and i dunno...i almost couldn't believe that it was actually happening. me...having a baby? a little son? it seems so impossible. so surreal. that the little flutters and touches inside me are really coming from a human being that will soon come into the world so fresh and new completely blows my mind.

we finally have some baby furniture in the nursery...the changing table is here! it looks so good in there...i can't wait to get the rest of the pieces to go with it. now that we know a little boy is gonna be living in that room i'm getting really excited to start decorating. i've already decided on a theme (moons and stars "winken, blinken and nod" style) so i've already got plenty of ideas...probably more than i can actually do. i registered at pottery barn kids for some of the things i want in there...but most of the other stuff i'm hoping to find at antique stores and re-finish. hopefully i can convince luke to do some artwork to hang on the walls. i've picked out some pages from "winken, blinken and nod" that i'd love to see what he could do with...but i suppose i should ask him first before i too excited about it. (so luke...whatd'ya think?) i heard a kendall payne song the other day and thought some of the lyrics would be cool to write out and hang on the nursery wall but now i'm thinking that they're a bit too heavy for a baby's room. maybe i'll hang them in the guest room (since it desperately needs something on the walls) or maybe up in the master bedroom. here's the lyrics in their entirety...the song's called "ups and downs"...

all that i've found through the ups and downs
is that i'd have it no other way
life in the raw is both fragile and strong
it's both lovely and ugly the same
who can attest that when they're at their best
their worst is still crouching close behind
it's coming to peace with the darkness in me
that allows the true light inside to shine

*so let it go for we are still far from home
though you try and you try to escape
to live and to love will always be dangerous
but it's better than playing it safe*

we are all composed of a symphony of notes
every life is as music to His ears
i'll play my melody be it haunting, be it sweet
unashamed of what anyone might hear

*so when the load breaks your back and your will
you must still keep your heart in the game
to live and to love will always be dangerous
but it's better than playing it safe*

*so let it got when you don't feel like home
when inside is your only escape
to live and to love will always be dangerous
but would you want it any other way?*

the second line of the choruses (the *-ed ones) and the second verse are the parts i really like. i think i just liked the idea of our lives being like music to God and that each life is a separate symphony written specifically to glorify Him. maybe i can still work that into something i end up hanging on the nursery walls.

going back to the prevelence of my belly...it really is starting to make itself known by getting in the way. someone even said at church yesterday that i'm starting to have the "pregnant lady waddle". lovely. i thought that didn't come til the end! and my belly really seems to get in the way when i'm in the kitchen trying to reach something up on the higher shelves. either i'm gonna have to continually climb on the counter to get what i need or to put the dishes away (which i'm sure will get progressively harder as i get bigger) or i'll havta go out and buy a little step-stool that i can leave out and not trip over all the time. anyone who's actually been in our kitchen probably wonders how we've lastest this long without a little stool since the cabinets are so tall but john doesn't want one in there cuz he's afraid of stubbing his toe when he's too lazy to turn on the lights. silly boy...

i'm going with my friend shannon to register at babies r us tomorrow. i'm really getting overwhlemed at the sheer amount of stuff we need to get to properly outfit this baby! who knew something so small needed such a large amount of stuff? i've been given an assignment for tonight...i need to figure out the bigger stuff (ie stroller, play-pen, etc.) that we'll need and then i have to go online and read reviews of the different products so i have a better idea which ones i want to register for. shannon says it'll make the registering process go a lot faster. she should know since she just did it a couple months ago. should be interesting anyways...and since i've got nothing better to do right now...i might as well get started on that.

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