13 March 2012

on the edge of early.

"mama, do your bible study."
she hands me my pen from the floor.
"here. color it."
once again, i find myself on the edge of early morning, with an almost three year old for company. currently, she's flipping through a library book we picked up yesterday, quietly telling me, "i like the girl stories, mom."
i suppose i shouldn't be surprised by my pint sized companion. it's the same story every morning. i hit snooze on my alarm too many times, finally summoning the strength to haul my body out of bed around 6:30; my only conscious thought of coffee. by the time i'm awake enough to even think about my bible and the study i'm doing, i can hear the pitter patter (or sometimes running thuds) of toddler size eight feet above my head. she usually climbs into bed with her daddy...but i know my moments alone are numbered. and sure enough, just as i'm getting into the groove of the study or of journaling or of prayer, i hear the whispered, "MOM!" from the top of the stairs. so much for getting anything else done this morning.
i know i should cherish these morning moments, alone with my eldest girl. someday soon, i'll miss her little whispered conversations, as she "reads" to herself beside me. these days ARE fleeting...no matter how interminable they may seem in the midst of them.
she's reading "fancy nancy", the quiet morning air filled with three-year-old pronunciations of "splendiferious" and "fushia" and "accessories", while i plug away at my study of james, trying to concentrate on truths like "faith without works is dead". the disparity is humorous...
the birds are twittering outside. the now-risen sun is slanting through the shades. the last sips of my coffee are stone-cold in my cup. i drink them anyway, shuddering slightly doing so. i quietly close james, putting my unfinished study away for the day. i hope that some of its truth has penetrated and that i will be changed for the better by His words. she tugs at the strings on my sweatshirt.
"mama. i want you. cuddle wiff me."
i've ignored her long enough...

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