this picture scares me.

this picture.
this is the one.
it isn't a new shot. it was taken during labor day weekend up in hatcher pass, alaska. and it certainly isn't the only picture i took of her that day. it was chilly, borderline TOO chilly to be up hiking around in the fall foliage. but we braved the wind and trekked onward. up the steep grade to a flat-ish area filled with rocks and boulders, perfect for climbing, and sitting, and jumping from one rock to another. in the midst of all the to-and-fro-ing, i managed to capture lucy just as she is: a typical three year old girl, prone to dramatic outbursts, loads of giggling and spontaneous singing. here's a few examples of the typical lucy kate:

 

typical.
traditional even.
my sweet, filled-with-light girl.
but then...there's that one picture. tucked away in the midst of all the others.
that one. that one that scares me.
not so much scares me, i guess. but gives me pause. makes me stop. look. wonder. wonder at who she's going to be. beautiful yes. most certainly that. but what else? who else? and am i prepared to take her there? to be the mother she needs me to be?
oh, yes. that scares me.
the huge, weighty responsibility of the task. the journey.
my days are filled with prayers.
prayers for guidance. for patience. for wisdom.
but mostly, for help.
help raising this beautiful girl into a woman who is not only beautiful on the outside...but shining gold on the inside too.