thoughts like a hummingbird.

I'm wandering about the house
unable to concentrate on one single task.
I pick up a plate from lunch, intent on putting it in the sink, only to set it back down and walk into the living room, only to do the same thing with a baby toy abandoned to the floor.
my mind flits like a hummingbird - back and forth from one thought to another.
I suppose one could say, "I'm all of a dither".
an underlying current of excitement, like a pulse of a low volt battery glows inside me.
humming with a constant source of energy.
my brain jumps and starts in one direction then hops back to another seemingly unrelated path.
all in response to a simple telephone call.

England is once more a possibility.
a possible adventure for our family.
perhaps for not as long a tenure as originally planned but the potential to go is once more dangled in front of me.
the proverbial carrot I long to crunch.

all the reasons are there.
they all make sense.
but the money isn't.
it just isn't readily available.
and when one has to count on the sale of a house...one must pause.
pause and consider.
because as everyone's mother has told them: it doesn't do to count those chickens before they've hatched.

and so I sigh.
and really try to rein in my emotions.
but still, they scatter in all directions like a billiards cue breaking the rack of balls.
and I find myself wandering about the house, without aim.
wondering once more.