08 November 2006

sittin. waitin. wishin.

waiting...waiting...waiting. that's what my life is all about right now. waiting for our new baby. waiting for our new house. waiting for winter to come. waiting for a new semester to start. waiting for the new year to begin chalk full of new, exciting experiences. so many changes ahead...but i'm just sitting here...waiting. i want to do something...anything really...but praticality holds me back. there's not much i can do to make baby come any sooner...he'll come when he's ready. i want to start packing up for our move but john wants to wait til we have a loan (still in the works), hands to help (my mom and dad are coming soon!) and the keys in our hands (if all goes well escrow should close on the 8th of december). and i completely agree with him on all three points since my body really won't let me do much in the physical exertion category anyways and there's no reason to start packing up this house if the move's not actually gonna happen (which it most likely will...but you never know with real estate). i want to start shopping for christmas presents...preparing for the holiday season to come...but financially and physically...i just can't. i want to assemble my christmas cards but considering the fact that they mainly consist of a picture of baby-to-be...i can't start til he gets here. i'd even love to start on some of my assignments for next semester. anything to jump-start my creative juices. it's frustrating just sitting here...waiting for time to move onward. i guess it's just because there's so many changes coming up in our lives...i'd kinda like to get a head-start. a lesson in patience? i guess so. so many things i want to do...so many things i want to create...to be...to know...to experience. but yet...i'm stuck here...vaguely frustrated with my inability to DO...to do the things i want to do...to do the things i need to do...to do the things i wish to do. a season of waiting...of quiet anticipation...of calm expectation. almost like i'm waiting for my life to start...

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