a mother's gift

a mother's gift

i've come to a conclusion. in my short two weeks as a mother, i've learned that breastfeeding is hard. i now understand why so many women give up on breastfeeding after only a short time. before i actually tried it myself, i didn't really get it. i just thought you popped the kid on the boob, they sucked til they were done and that was that. but now i know it's so much more than that. it's not only getting the right latch and positioning but it's a completely selfless, sacrificial act. you're giving a piece of yourself and that is drastically opposite of our human nature. we are programmed to be "ME FIRST! ME FIRST!" kind of people and breastfeeding requires the opposite mentality. especially in the middle of the night. especially when the pediatrition doesn't recommend bottle-feeding for another month or so. there are no breaks in breastfeeding. it's all you...all the time. when the little one wants to eat, he eats. no matter if you're hungry or havta pee, no matter if you're so tired you can't keep your eyes open...when the babe cries with hunger, he eats. sometimes i look over at john, all cuddled up in the covers, blissfully sleeping and i almost want to make a ridiculous amount of noise just so he can't sleep either. but of course i don't. because i realize even in my sleep-deprived state that i'm giving my precious baby boy the best start possible and that breastfeeding is a priviledge...not an obligation. so i'm enjoying feeding my little prince and i feel blessed to be able to give him this piece of me. i thank God that he's a good little eater and that we haven't had too much trouble overall getting the hang of this breastfeeding business. well...i've had some trouble (sore nipples and a clogged milk duct) but my little man does so good...i'm so proud of him. at our doctor's appointment on friday, we discovered that elijah has already gained a whole pound! typically, babies don't gain weight that quickly. at two weeks, most babies have only gained back the water weight they lost during the first few days of life. but my little piglet has already gained that weight back and a pound more! he likes to eat...that's for sure...just like his daddy. :D

we're heading out the door for a brief new years celebration at john's sister's house so i should probably quit here. don't know how long i'm gonna last but we should at least make an apperance. happy new year to everyone...

here's to a blessed 2007...

blessed quietness...

it's the day after christmas and all is quiet. john's watching t.v. while our precious little son sleeps next to him. it's been ten days since elijah entered the world...i can't believe it. sometimes i feel like i just got home from the hospital while other times feel like he's always been here. what an incredible ride these past few days have been. it hasn't been easygetting used to having this little man around constantly demanding attention...so needy...even when he's sleeping! (did someone say laundry?) but it's such a blessing too...despite the lack of sleep. and i wouldn't trade him for all the sleep in the world.

yesterday was a pretty low key day in the anaya household...and it was greatly needed and appreciated! we spent the entire day just lounging around in our christmas jammies...enjoying our little man...watching him sleep...laughing at his funny faces...sharing the duties of newborn life...it was a GREAT day. it was the first day since we've been home from the hospital that we didn't have to entertain anyone or go anywhere...and for that...i was extremely grateful. because although i'm feeling pretty good...my body is still healing and recovering from my 40 hour labor. i sometimes feel like i'm almost back to normal...then the ibuprofen wears off and i laugh at my ignorance. a 4th degree tear doesn't just heal itself overnight.

today we tried to take baby on his first walk...tried being the operative word here. after feeding him, changing him, getting him all bundled up and put in his stroller, we headed outside only to find that it was starting to rain. so instead of walking to starbucks...we walked around the block and called it good. and it was a good thing we did too since not 15 minutes after we came inside, the heavens opened and a torential (no idea how to spell that...) downpour began. oh well...maybe tomorrow.

i'm going to sign off here...my bed is calling my name and since the little one's still asleep, i might actually get some too. more pictures to come...

finally...he's here!

finally...he's here!

YAY! he finally made it into the world!

after 41 hours of labor and a lot of "issues" (with me...not the baby...and thankfully nothing serious)...elijah johnathon entered the world at 7.28pm on december 16th. he weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces and was 19 and 1/2 inches long. he is absolutely beautiful and perfect in every way! i can't believe how amazing it is...

thanks to all for your prayers and encouragement...we are so blessed!

argh! disappointment and frustration

well...the doctor didn't have any hopeful news for me today...everything looks the same as last week. i'm officially scheduled to be induced on the 21st...so if nothing happens between now and next thursday...elijah will be born then. we'll almost have the same birthday! i'm hoping and praying that he comes of his own accord because i'd really like to avoid induction...but he can't stay in there forever! so yeah...we're praying that he finally gets the hint and comes out on his own in the next couple days. i'll let you know if anything changes...but until then...we keep waiting...and waiting...and waiting...

the day after...

it is officially the day after my due date...and baby has yet to make his entrance. not only that but there's not even any signs or symptoms that he'd LIKE to come. seems to me that i'm too good of a home...he doesn't want to leave! i must say...i truly thought he'd be here by now even though i tried not to look at my due date as written in stone. i guess i kinda am disappointed that he's not here yet. i was just reading a magazine this morning about all the different developmental milestones that babies go through in their first three months and i was getting so excited to see those manifested in my own baby...but alas...all i have right now is an empty bassinet and a huge belly.*sigh* everyone keeps telling me and i know it'll be true...that when the baby is actually here i'll be wishing for the simpler days of pregnancy when the only thing waking me up in the middle of the night was my own bladder...but still...i'm ready for him to be here...to start getting to know him...to kiss his sweet little toes...and kiss his baby head. i'm ready...and it's time...so baby elijah...get out here already! we want to meet you!

and still...nothing

i guess in this case...no news really means no news. baby is still happily kicking around INSIDE my belly despite the encouragment from everyone. and apparently he doesn't want to be born on his grandma's birthday either (it's my mom's birthday today...and while technically he still has a few hours til her birthday is over...i'm just not seeing that happen). my due date is offically tomorrow...so he's not really late...i was just sure he was gonna come early! just goes to show that babies never do what their parents want...even before they're born.

another update...

i know all of you are anxiously awaiting the results of my doctor's visit yesterday morning. heh... well...i'm sorry to say that the news is quite disappointing. apparently elijah likes his little home! although i'm 1 centimeter dialated...that really doesn't mean a darn thing! like my doctor said...it could be "see you tonight" or "see you next week"...there really is no telling when it'll happen. so...sorry to disappoint...but it looks like it could be a while. then again...i could go into labor tonight! only God knows...
anyways...i'm off to do some more "nesting"...ha! :D

baby news...

well...no baby...not yet anyways. i just wanted to update all you curious peeps out there regarding the current situation. elijah is apparently VERY content to stay in his little home...and isn't making any attempts to enter this world. i keep poking him trying to make him as uncomfortable as possible...but he just kicks me back (kinda like his dad in that respect). speaking of his dad...john says the reason he's taking his time to make his entrance is because the baby knows how cold it is out here and is waiting til it warms up. uh huh...sure.

i do have a doctor's appointment tomorrow...so if anything changes or he gives me any new information...i'll be sure to pass it along. so until then...