muffled thoughts.

i was reminded of past love recently.
an old flame, i believe they're called.
a picture fluttered out of a journal upended on a shelf in a frenzy of dusting.
just a glimpse of that moment captured on film
and it all came rushing back...
his face punctured my reality and i was sent into a tailspin of memories and regret.

the flurry of daily emails.
the week of cliched romance.
the whispered phone calls lasting into the wee hours of the morning.

i've only given my heart to a man three times.
once in high school to a boyish, troubled football player.
once (and forever!) to my husband. my prince.
but there was that third.
a man.
older than myself (by six years).
sweet. attentive. roguish in his sarcastic humour.
i loved him.
briefly.
but completely.

i do think about him on occasion.
with nothing more than a few regrets and good wishes...
i wonder where he is.
wonder what life would have been like if i'd traveled that path with him.
i would be different...
i think.