i've been listening to lucy cry upstairs, in her doorway, intermittently, for the last forty five minutes. due to her nightly escapades, we were forced to finally buy a gate for her doorway. tonight was its debut. needless to say, it did not win any awards in the eyes of the two year old. she managed to knock it down three times, until i screwed it in there as tight as it would go (i was actually worried it was going to break). she hasn't succeeded in taking it down yet. so instead, she's hanging over the side, sobbing her little heart out. well, she was until about ten minutes ago when i went up there and guided her back to her bed. i probably shouldn't have but i was worried that all her hysterics would wake her sister. in my sympathetic venture up the stairs, i finally figured out why she was having such a fit. turns out, she'd dropped her curious george stuffed toy over the edge of the gate and was beside herself with grief over their separation. oh the drama of being two...
today, at the farmer's market, i had two different people tell me how much they wished their children were little again. "cherish these moments!" they said. and though, in my heart, i know what they're saying is sound advice, i unwittingly find myself dreaming of the day when they're a little more self sufficient. a little more obedient. a little less needy of me.
i try not to wish these days away...because i know those ladies at the farmer's market are right. i know because i'm already missing "those" days. i'm missing the days elijah didn't feel the need to contradict everything i say. i miss the days lucy would fall asleep in my arms. i miss the days i didn't have to monitor what toys were laying on the floor because of naomi and her adept military crawl. i miss the sleepy, squishy newborn stage...not enough to want another baby just yet...but enough to wish my babies still were...babies. one could argue that naomi really is still a baby, however, with her newfound mobility and incessant desire to be wherever her siblings are, doing whatever they're doing, she seems much less of an almost seven month old...
it's just been one of those days...weeks...months. nothing got checked off the to-do list, the house is still a disaster from lucy's birthday party and there are ants in the bathroom, yet again. i just needed to vent a little frustration, i suppose.

ten on tuesday - 8 march edition

a grouping of thoughts swirling around in my head this tuesday evening. no semblance of order...just the randomness of my brain at the end of a long day...

1. i am so "sarcastically" excited that it's 8:30pm and lucy is still singing in her crib. c'mon baby! just go to sleep already! though it is rather cute to hear her singing away...

2. i am "authentically" excited that i'm hearing the sounds of john doing the dishes downstairs. wahoo! one less thing for this mama to do tonight. though i will probably still have a couple pots to do, seeing as he seems to forget any and all dishes that aren't in the immediate vicinity of the sink...

3. i am hearing the sounds of my hard drive uploading even MORE images from last sunday's wedding. the image count is almost at 1000 and i still have one card left. whoa. literal image overload. i'm feeling overwhelmed just thinking about it. i just need to remind myself: one image at a time...one image at a time...

4. i served salmon burgers for dinner tonight and no one complained! not even john! (i'm only slightly joking) that must be a first. also a first, elijah ate all his asparagus. without protest. i was shocked.

5. i just took the flannel sheets off our bed and am mourning the loss. i was hoping to keep them on through march but seeing as though it's sixty nine degrees upstairs without the aid of the heater...it was time. the fleece blanket is still on the bed, just in case...but i truly doubt we'll be using it. 

6. i spent several (actually, more than several...ahem) minutes looking at vintage fisher price toys on etsy.com tonight. thinking i need to add a few more to my collection. hmmm...

7. i ransacked my "office" today looking for the two eldest kids' social security cards this afternoon to no avail. we need them so we can put in their passport applications asap. we're headed to mexico in april! and while i'm definitely excited about that, i'm decidedly not as excited about the missing cards. if you were a social security card, where would you be?

8. i need to made a decision about this year's garden. to be or not to be? that is the question. i want to start digging...but then i start thinking about all the ants that live back there, all the weeds that need to be vanquished and i get exhausted just thinking about it. maybe i'll just grow some sugar snap peas along the fence...

9. i really need to get back into a good workout routine. my body is aching from too many nights spent sleeping in an upright position...and though that needs to be remedied in and of itself, i know i would feel better if i was getting consistent exercise...

10. i have served these three different versions of pancakes for breakfast over the past week or so and every single one of them was gobbled up. just thought i'd share some yummy recipes! (just as an aside: i did add cinnamon, vanilla and blueberries to the honey whole wheat ones...so i guess that was kind of cheating. no wonder they were gobbled up!) i plan to try this one as well, but seeing as it needs a food processor and i like to keep my children sleeping as long as absolutely possible, i think i'll save it for a "sleepy start" kind of morning or a "breakfast for dinner" kind of evening. OR...maybe i'll be a really cool mom and serve them for lunch tomorrow. hmmm...

the "to done" list...

so many evenings find me sighing, lamenting all that didn't get done that day. the list is forever endless; i find myself continually adding tasks to the list rather than checking any off. i look around me and cannot help but to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, under-qualified. most days, i head to bed thinking, "maybe tomorrow... maybe next week... maybe someday..."...a discouraging mindset at best. i was beginning to wonder if this was my destiny...was i to be forever shackled by an unending to do list? when i stumbled across a status update on facebook bemoaning the very same thing. a comment below it exhorted the writer of the update to make a "to done" list instead of the traditional "to do" list. and novel thought. a brilliant thought. a genius thought. so...here i am...at the end of a seemingly very unproductive day...and i am making a "to done" list.

1. i made and served three meals (plus two snacks). they weren't anything exciting but at least they were made and my family was fed.
2. i cleaned up said meals. dishes put into the dishwasher and the very same dishes taken out of the dishwasher. table wiped. highchair wiped. floor under highchair wiped. counters washed down. etc. etc. etc.
3. i actually cleaned the kitchen sink. this doesn't happen very often as i only seem to do it when the perfect storm occurs: the drying rack is mostly empty, the kids are playing happily and there's not a meal being prepared. like i said, it doesn't happen very often.
4. i changed at least five diapers, three of which were poopy (when they're cloth diapers, you always remember the number of poopies...the total number, not so much).
5. i nursed a little one at least four times...but maybe more than that, depending on when you consider the day actually starting...
6. i took a shower!!! this is phenomenal, seeing as it doesn't happen as often as it should...
7. i talked to my sweet mother on the phone...several times. ;o)
8. i read two chapters of my book (while nursing, of course)
9. i cleaned the upstairs toilet and sinks (floor, counters and tub to come tomorrow)
10. i read three bearenstain bear books (one twice), one curious george book, and several other miscellaneous stories
11. i drew a really awesome castle and some very cute birdies for a budding artist to color
12. i started the process of moving the playroom out of the playroom and into what was, up until now, the catch-all room, moving the guest room/office into the old playroom and moving naomi's things into the old guest room. i didn't get very far on that project but i really wasn't expecting to...

and finally, i'll make an even baker's dozen:

13. i doled out innumerable hugs and kisses, sung countless rounds of "baby beluga", "moon, moon, moon" (lu's favorite song), "twinkle, twinkle", "joy to the world" (e's favorite song...) and the "a b c's", nibbled on several tummies and soaked up an unending stream of smiles, gummy and tooth-filled.

i did a lot today. never mind that the laundry didn't get started, the beds didn't get made and there's still a sticky spot on the kitchen floor where elijah dropped a half eaten orange. there's always tomorrow...right?

scenes from daily life...

the scene this morning:
       i was chasing lucy around downstairs, trying to change a poopy. we were having a bit of a laugh when all of a sudden she stopped right in the middle of being chased, put her finger up to her lips and says, "shhh, i seeping". she shut her eyes while standing up and pretended to sleep. fake snore and everything. that lasted about two seconds...her eyes popped open, she laughed a hysterical fake laugh and ran off again, saying, "i funny, mama! i funny!". this happened more than once...and let me tell you, i was dying of laughter! i haven't laughed that hard in a long time...

can't get enough of the orchards...

...this time of year, i just can't get enough of the orchards. they are amazing! so beautiful...
i just had to get my kiddos out in them this year to grab some pictures.
of course, neither my children nor the sun cooperated very much.
but...we did what we could.
thankfully, my wonderful friend, shannon, came along to help corral the littles. i grabbed some shots of her kids too...

my sweet baby girl.
four months old.
still so tiny.
barely fitting into three month clothes...her sister had already graduated to the six month size at this point.
at her appointment on tuesday, she only weighed 11 pounds.
she's healthy...but teeny.
love it.
love her.
love her abundant smile (though not so much at 3 am...)
and her contagious giggle.
she is sweet.
so sweet...but strong.
so strong.
already rolling herself all over the place...and standing up in my arms any chance she gets.
she won't sit contentedly anymore, no...she wants to be standing...to see the action.
she loves books and bathtime.
she watches faces with delight and intention.
she will be inquisitive...she already is.

one word wednesday : 2 march 2011

sparkle.

boy.

these days he can be found...
       ...kicking dirt with a snot streaked shirt sleeve.
       ...ripping holes in the knees of his jeans with surprising speed.
       ...shooting the "bad guys" with any weapon he can find, real or imaginary.
       ...tackling his sister for no reason at all.
       ...refusing to take a nap even though he's beyond tired.
       ...asking questions that require research before answering.
       ...counting to twenty but skipping 15-19 because he doesn't "like those ones".
oh boy...he is four.

one word wednesday

light.

ten on tuesday...

i'm not sure i've done one of these yet...this list of ten things that are running through my brain on this tuesday. if i have...it's been a LONG time...

1. i was so blessed today by the arrival of lynne and her farm fresh eggs. i have been searching for a reliable source for fresh eggs and finally found lynne through localharvest.org. she agreed to bring them to my door for no extra charge as she drives through our little town frequently. not only are her eggs amazing (i had one for snack today!) but she is an amazingly vibrant believer, weaving Christ into her every breath. she was such an encouragement to me today!!

2. today was the first day i was actually able to smell the almond blossoms from my front door. amazing, amazing scent. i can tell my allergies are about to kick into high gear but i don't really mind, breathing in that intoxicating aroma...

3. we're getting ready to say goodbye to john/daddy for several days. i've spent the afternoon mentally preparing myself for the single parent load. i'm so thankful he has a good job and brings home a steady paycheck especially considering his pay is commission based...but still...it's hard when he has to be gone.

4. naomi has been rolling herself over onto her tummy now for about a week...she's getting really good at it. she has become so much more of an infant and less of a newborn in seemingly the last few weeks. it was especially evident when i took her with me to a newborn shoot last sunday. mr. ashton was SOSO tiny; naomi looked like a giant next to him. it amazes me what four months can do.

5. lucy has been cracking me up lately. not that she didn't already but man...the girl is funny! i love her pronunciations...she tries so hard to say words correctly! and most of the time, she does a fantastic job. there are occasions however, when i have absolutely no idea what she's trying to say.

6. i was so proud of elijah today when lynne came over. instead of hiding his face when she asked him how old he was...or mumbling the answer so quietly no one could hear him, he pronounced loudly and clearly that he was four years old and also offered up that lucy was one, almost two. so proud of that little man...

7. i just finished up three photo shoots in two days. that was a bit crazy. my creative eye is a bit worn out. i was going to take the kids out to the orchards today to grab some pictures of them with the blossoms but really had zero motivation! hopefully it'll work out to do it tomorrow since another winter storm is headed this way on thursday. here's a peek from each in chronological order:

8. i am completely bummed that i'm missing out on the first few weeks of my newest niece's life! little joanna was born on the fifth and i so wanted to go up there to meet her. this long distance thing is the pits.

9. i'm really working hard on getting up at least an hour before the kids do. i kinda fell off the band wagon when my mom was here...it's always a bit like vacation when she comes to visit. definitely going to have to be better about it when john's gone. i'm such a better mommy if i have those few minutes to myself in the morning...to read my bible, have a cup of coffee (while it's still hot!), get breakfast started and just generally mentally prepare for the day. sometimes, i even get a shower in! i so wish i was a morning person...but alas...i am not. after i've been up for about fifteen minutes, i never regret doing so...but man! those first fifteen minutes are so.very.hard...every single time. it's helpful if i have the coffee set to brew the night before...that's a huge motivator...but not always. i'm hoping it'll get easier the more i do it...

10. confession : ever since going to the michael w. smith/amy grant concert a few weeks ago, i have been listening to their playlist on my ipod. i'm addicted! (as an aside, i hope to do a blog post about that experience soon. i have a couple audio clips that i want to get off my phone first...) major guilty pleasure!! my favorite shot from the night:

one word wednesday

spring.

in the orchards...

spring is springing here in the valley! seems like the blossoms are late this year...but ah well...they're showing their  beautiful faces now!
back in december, john and i promised his family (parents and sister) pictures of the entire extended family (his parents, his sister and her kids and us) for their walls. unfortunately, we didn't have any pictures to print out. hence the trip to the orchards this past sunday. we covered the gamut of groupings: whole family, just grandkids, grandkids and grandparents, etc. of course, my children didn't want to cooperate and smile...of course.

there are many more of these to come...i've only had a chance to edit this one...but it's probably my favorite!

one word wednesday

thankful.

flashback friday : summertime!!

 it must be that it's february.
it's winter.
still winter.
winter in california, yes...where sunny and sixty degrees is not unusual...but still, winter.

i actually love the winter season...but there are days when even a winter-lover like me can miss the abundance of summertime.
i am SO glad i took the time (it was minimal, really) to freeze four gallon sized bags of blueberries last summer because now, in the doldrums of february, my family and i can enjoy these bright, tasty morsels.
yum.

here's some pictures of our adventures blueberry picking.
(all photographs were taken during may and june of 2010)
 

one word wednesday

twirl.

(instead of "wordless wednesday", i've changed it to "one word wednesday"...works better this way, i think)

 oh my sweet lucy kate...

i've been thinking about you lately.
how big you are...
but still so little.
you will be two in may...and most days i can see the prelude of the "terrible" twos...
but there are so many other moments when your sweet spirit shines through...

you are so curious.
you want to do everything your older brother does.
you LOVE your baby sister...sometimes too hard.
you add at least two new words to your vocabulary daily.
my favorites include the way you say, "wait!" when you're trying to catch up with me...the way everything/everybody is "hiding" if you can't see them ("lucy, where's daddy?"..."hiding!"..."isn't he at work?"..."no, hiding!")...the way you ask to pray at least a dozen times at every meal: "ayemem? uh huh? ayemem?"...the way you say thank you, "nakey, mama, nakey!"...and how you always say "'scuse me!" after a burp or a toot...stinkin' cute.

 your facial expressions crack. me. up.

 you can be so independent...
but at other times, so insecure.
like yesterday, we were outside, in the front, when the garbage man came down the street. you ran to me and hid your face in my legs while crying, "no tuck! no tuck!". one might think you were scared of the noise since the trash man (as elijah calls him) is rather loud but other loud noises (like the vacuum or the coffee grinder) don't bother you in the least...

you are my helper girl.
you love to help me unload the dishwasher (i give you the plastics to put away) and put the wet clothes in the dryer. i'm hoping this trend will continue!!

 you are always singing...the alphabet, twinkle twinkle, the counting song, "moon, moon, moon"...it doesn't matter. and such a sweet little voice you have...
you won't go to sleep unless i sing "moon, moon, moon" to you...it's our special tradition. sometimes you sing it with me...but most nights (or naptimes), you simply hold my hand and suck away on your paci.
yes...you still have the paci. and though i thoroughly dislike it, i almost don't mind you having it at bed time...if only to keep you little for just a bit longer.

i love you sweet girl...

all pictures taken during our trip to san diego, january 2011...