went and saw harry last night. a pretty good film i'd say. very different from the book...but what else can you do when the book is 900 pages long and the film's only 2 hours? exactly. it was nice to get out...have dinner with my hubby (at this great little chinese place right by where we used to live. we don't get to go there very often any more...but the waitress still remembered us! even though the last time we were there i was still pregnant! seriously...anyways...). it was wonderful to have adult conversation without having to worry about baby. then we kipped over to the theater to watch harry...me having brought along my own world-famous (slight exaggeration) popcorn (no...i am not ashamed to admit that i sneak popcorn into the movie theater!). but about halfway through the movie...i found my mind wandering back to ripon...to my mother-in-law's house...wondering what my baby boy was doing...whether he was sleeping nicely for his grandma (i found out later he wasn't) or being his active little self. i'd only been gone two hours and already...i missed him. crazy...i know. i was so anxious to get home and hold my sweet boy that the drive back seemed to drag on and on and on and on. it kinda got me thinking though...about mothers who choose to go back to work after having children. not mom's that have to go back...but those who choose to. how can they do it? how can they leave their babies with someone else...all day long...and only get to see them for a couple hours a day? i mean...i know i sometimes crave a moment's peace...or an hour to myself after a particularly hard day with elijah...but deep down...i know i would never trade my life with him for anything. i had a friend tell me once that the reason both mom and dad worked was because if they wanted to go to abercrombie and spend $300 in one go...they wanted to be able to do that. huh? what? exactly. i know. i seriously could not believe those words actually came out of their mouth...and they were dead serious. but i suppose that's how a lot of people think these days. they want what they want...and they don't let anything...even their children!...get in the way of that. it's sad really. because i wouldn't trade watching and experiencing daily life with my little boy for all the name-brand clothes or niceties in the world. i want to be there when he takes his first step, says his first word. i want to be the one to comfort him when he bonks his head, needs a cuddle. i don't want someone else doing that for me...i love watching my little man learn about the world. lately his favorite game is pulling himself up to a standing position using the couch to balance on...turning around with one hand holding on...and giving me the biggest grin right before he hurtles himself into my waiting arms. we giggle and laugh for a minute then he turns around and does it all over again. i can't imagine missing that!
so last night...when we finally pulled up in front of my in-law's house and i carried my sleeping boy back to his waiting bed...with my nose buried in his soft baby head, smelling his sweet baby smell, listening to his soft, syncopated breathing...i couldn't help breathe yet another prayer of thanks for the little life in my arms...thankful for my role as his mommy...and oh so thankful that i don't have to leave him for a job. we may not be the richest people on the block...we may not have all the "latest and greatest"...but that really doesn't matter in the scheme of things...in the light of the little life we've been entrusted with. we're so blessed in so many ways...so many ways...it blows me away sometimes.
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