something to work on...

since it's friday...this is supposed to be a "flashback" post...but i have other things weighing on my heart and mind...

just a few minutes ago, i was whining and wallowing. i was throwing myself a major pity party. alone, i was "responsibly" cleaning up the day's messes, while john was outside, playing with the kids. i so wanted to throw the dishrag down and join them but knew i needed to finish up "my job". i confess my reasons for continuing on were less than noble: i wanted to prove to someone (anyone!) that i really was a non-selfish, capable adult that could trusted to take care of her home when in fact, i was the polar opposite...selfishly whining to myself because i couldn't stop thinking of the unfair split of household chores. how, at the end of the day, it's always me that has to clean up the kitchen, pick up the toys and so on (which isn't entirely true). and also, how it's supremely unfair that when john comes home, he gets to leave his work at the office. when he's home, he's home. (not always true...but my pity party didn't allow for exceptions.) my work is never ending...it's always there! because even when i finish, there's another bum to be wiped or another dish to be washed or another mess to be cleaned up. his work is confined to an office...or a computer...or a phone...(see what i mean about whining?)
as i was bending over, picking up the same toys i pick up every night, wiping the same spot of floor i wipe every night, washing the same dishes i wash every night, sighing to myself...i heard my phone ding. an excuse to put everything aside had never been more welcomed. i clutched the phone and saw that i had a text message. hallelujah...someone cares! after responding to the message, i still wasn't ready to continue my "laborious tasks" so i clicked over to my inbox, where a message was waiting. it ended up just being spam but instead of getting up, i decided to read another email that i hadn't been able to read earlier. it was a feed from one of the blogs i subscribe to: passionate homemaking ("loving simple, natural and intentional living"). the post was entitled "let your work be your worship". (you can read the post here: http://www.passionatehomemaking.com/2010/10/let-your-work-be-your-worship.html) as i skimmed the text, i was instantaneously reprimanded in regards to the attitude in which i'd been allowing myself to wallow in while completing my chores. 1 corinthians 10:31 smacked me on the hand with its not-so-subtle reminder that i should be doing everything, EVERYTHING! to the glory of God. not just when i feel like it...but always. and not just the things i like doing...but everything. the verse doesn't leave much room to wiggle.
i'd like to say that i finished the dishes and general cleanup while whistling a jolly tune (which would be a complete and utter lie since i can't whistle...at all. not even a little bit...). i didn't whistle...or even sing but i certainly had a better attitude as i finished up. and i know there will be days when the drudgery and monotony of changing the same diaper, scrubbing the same toilet, folding the same clothes will drag me back into the pit of the pity party...but i'm hoping that this verse will somehow break through the whining and drag me back up and out of that yuckiness...
it's something to work on, i suppose.