melancholy musings

i took my little man to the park today. nothing special...he just likes to watch the fountains. today, however, there were lots of little kids enjoying the waterworks. usually, it's pretty empty. elijah watched the kids romp and play with great fascination...every once in a while, he'd let out a big coo and flap his arms as if to say "i wanna play too, momma!". i couldn't help but notice the moms on the sidelines...providing towels and sunscreen, snacks and juice boxes and observing the general goings-on with an attentive eye. one was pregnant, two others were nursing...and there were a few more changing diapers and settling the minor infractions that are inevitable with that many kids running around. they were all having such a wonderful time; it was truly an idyllic setting. my heart twinged a bit and to be completely honest, along with that twinge was a definite hint of jealousy. i don't want to covet what others have but when i was sitting alone on that park bench with my sweet boy on my lap, the beautiful morning seemed just a bit less appealing...watching the other mothers share laughter and sunshine while their children made memories glistening with water droplets. i want that. i want to be a part of something like that. i guess what i'm trying to say is...i want mommy friends. mommy friends that i can spend a random thursday morning with...sitting in the sun, watching our babies play while we swap mothering moments and pediatrician pointers. a group of friends to share my experiences with...firsthand...without feeling rushed or like i'm interrupting their day off. a stay at home mommy friend...or two...is all i ask. i'm trying to find contentment here...right where i am...but it's hard when i'm as lonely as i am. my only companion...while very sweet...can't exactly engage in conversation or listen to my motherly concerns. i love my life with elijah...i just wish i had a friend or two to share my days with...that's all.

(ps. memorial day post coming soon.)

very happy scrappy...sorta.

well. my scanner's finally working. so i was all excited to share the latest scrap madness...but now the internet's not letting me upload any more than these three. so kinda grr...but at least some made it through. i'll keep working on the problem...but for now...here ya go!

side note: the journaling for the "come and listen" page can be found here.

happy scrappy.

my latest.
more to come.
tired.
bed.
oh yeah.

the weekenders

a peek at a weekend at the anaya's...

daddy goes skakeboarding at the local skate park.

thankfully...he didn't hurt himself...too badly. i'm gonna get him a helmet for father's day because really...that's just not cool that he's riding without one.

the wee one watches daddy from the sidelines...go daddy go!

back at the ranch...this is what a typical sunday afternoon/evening looks like on lyman place. bar-be-queing in front of rich and stephanie's house (because they have a bbq)...usually chicken and hamburgers but occasionally some other weird stuff...or hot links will make an apperance.

the newest member of the weekend clan: little chase!
he's 9 weeks old...and little companion for rich and steph's other beagle, sarah and a age appropriate playmate for their little girl, kendall (picture below).

(a side note: this picture is actually a couple weeks old...she's three weeks old now!)


john continues the skateboarding...this time at home...so he can drink his beer at the same time. *sigh*


that's a look at our weekend...

final project. finally.

just wanted to share the final version of one of my final projects. i'm actually really happy with the way it turned out...surprisingly. so here it is. in all of its glory.

here's the text that went along with it...an explanation of sorts...

to clarify a little bit. instead of shooting the entire jewel song ("innocence maintained" from her "spirit" album, my original idea), i just took three of the lines and let them mull around in my head for awhile. these are images that emerged. at first glance, they might not look like a cohesive set but there was a reason for everything that i did. here are the lines i used:

"...i want to live bravely and love without fear
i want always to feel the wings of grace near...

...innocence can't be lost, it just needs to be maintained."

the first set of images depicts the "wings of grace" while the following sets show "innocence" "living bravely"...at least my version of that. i purposely chose to make them a little darker with vigetteing simply because these "innocents" are growing up in a very non-innocent time. someday i'd like to revisit this series and shoot some images of what happens when innocence is NOT maintained: foster/homeless kids, kids using drugs/smoking, etc. kinda mary ellen mark meets lauren greenfield. but that's for another time and place. for now...we get the sugar coated version...with a little bit of bitterness on the side...

artist statement: (a requirement for the assignment)

show childlike innocence through my photographs. splash beauty throughout my images. see the world beyond the day to day and find the beauty in those moments. trusty camera in hand, one eye closed, one eye opened to the world and its possibilities, peering through the viewfinder.
i am an artist. even when i don't feel like it.
(something i've really learned this semester)

the set up shot:

"wings of grace near..."

"...innocence can't be lost...it just needs to be maintained..."

and a couple extras...just because they're cute.

self portrait. it was part of the assignment. but i actually like how it turned out.

just a few...

my little man is so darn cute!
just took these today...tried out my studio lights for the first time.
interesting.
but fun.
maybe i'll keep them.