24 June 2014

to you. instead of goodbye.

the tears came. unbidden.
spilling from my eyes despite my furious blinking.
making pools in the cups of my sunglasses.
hand out the window, I waved.
formed an I-love-you with my fingers.
drove away, sobs stuck in my throat.

to an outsider, our parting wouldn't have looked out of the ordinary.
certainly not a goodbye warranting tears.
just one mom packing her littles into a mini-van in the driveway of another mom's home.
yet, it was so much more than that.
the end to six months of playdates, coffee dates. sanity savers. of long laughs and of silent, shared tears. of moments and memories that anchored my soul during lonesome and turbulent months.

our children forged friendships over creek mud and snails.
dress up and calico critters.
lunches of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cheezits.

we solidified our kindred spirits across the counter sharing too many cups of coffee, chatting about Harry Potter and the insecurities we worry about in our children while we watched samuel grow from an infant sleeping in the carseat to a baby crawling all over the living room floor.

my dearest friend:
I wish I could put into words what these past months have meant to me.
often there were days that I wanted to be no where else than on your comfy chair, coffee in hand.
a stable mooring in the rocking sea life had placed me.
yes, I am leaving.
leaving for a land I've long longed to travel.
a dream come true.
but there is a small part of me that wishes to stay.
you are the reason there are threads of hesitation pulling through my dream-come-true reality. (and that's not a bad thing!)

thank you.
thank you.
for things you didn't even know you gave.

you are a poem, my friend.

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