it was one of "those" days...

i'm not a big tv watcher. every once in a great while i'll turn on the tv...or john'll have it on and i just end up watching it because it's there. especially lately, i've just got a ton more important stuff to do...things i'd rather be doing. subsequently, elijah does not watch much tv either. we don't really want him watching it...but we're not exactly tv nazis either. he's exposed to it at his auntie and uncle's house (because it is ALWAYS on...at ear-splitting levels too) and also at his grandparents (where it is also always on...but on a spanish channel and not so loud). however, at our house, he rarely, if ever, watches it. i think maybe he's watched tv four or five times at our house. ever. in his life. but on a day like yesterday...there really was no alternative. elijah was sick and tired of being in the house (as was i) but it was 105 degrees outside and i wasn't about to deal with that. i suppose we could have packed up the car and drove to the mall or something...but really...that's enough of a hassle in itself. so. the tv it was. nick jr. really does have plenty of quality kids programs...the kind that teach as well as entertain. this is not something i do regularly but it certainly was a lifesaver yesterday.

on another note...we finally figured out what was wrong with elijah. turns out he had baby measles (officially roseola). this is what webmd.com had to say about it:

Roseola (roseola infantum) is a mild illness caused by a virus. It is generally harmless and is most common in children 6 months to 2 years of age. It is rare after age 4.

Roseola often starts with a sudden high fever [103 F to 105 F] that lasts 2 to 3 days, although it can last up to 8 days. The rapid increase in temperature may be the first sign of roseola and often occurs before you realize that your child has a fever. The fever ends suddenly.
After the fever ends, a rosy-pink rash may appear over your child's entire body, starting on the torso and spreading to the face, neck, and arms. The rash is not itchy and may last 1 to 2 days.
On rare occasions, a sore throat, stomach ache, vomiting, and diarrhea occur.
A child with roseola may appear fussy or irritable and may have a decreased appetite, but most children behave almost normally.

totally and completely what elijah had. so nice to know what was going on...even if it is after the fact. he still has the rash...but it looks like it's on its way out since it has made its way to his face and legs. i'm so glad he's getting back to normal though...sick babies are no fun.

here hoping that we don't have to resort to the tv again today...

maybe it's a kiddie pool kinda day...if only we could find some shade...that's the trouble with new developments. the trees are all new too...twigs we call 'em.

poor baby

the little man is feeling better...
but still not quite himself.
the fact that it's eight o'clock in the morning
and he's still asleep
tells me something.
hopefully he'll be back to his normal crazy self soon.
i miss my little bugger.

*sigh*

sighing. i've been doing that a lot in the past few days. namely because i don't know what else to do. elijah has been sick since sunday morning. he has a fairly high fever and other than not really being himself, no other symptoms. we spent four hours in the clinic yesterday which was a frustrating and harrowing experience for all involved. since the doctor (who was a very large, very dark black man that scared elijah just by being in the same room with us) couldn't find anything wrong, no ear infection, no flu, etc, elijah had to have blood drawn. *sigh* drawing blood from an eight month old is NOT a fun experience. especially since the nurses couldn't find a vein. poor baby looks like he's got track marks on his arms. *sigh* harrowing? yes. very. the doctor also wanted a urine sample to test for a bladder infection. thankfully that didn't involve anymore needles, however, since elijah has been sick for so long, he didn't (and still doesn't) have much urine in him. *sigh* frustrating? yes. so...instead of waiting around for him to pee, we took a bunch of urine sample bags home. since the doctor told me that all he needed was a couple drops, i collected the "couple drops" and drove the half an hour drive back to the doctor's office this morning. unfortunately, once we got there, i was informed that a couple drops wasn't nearly enough to run the tests; they needed a full bag. *sigh* frustrating? yes again. since we were a half hour drive away from home, i just decided to hang out, run a couple errands that didn't really need to be run and plug elijah full of water. thankfully it only took a couple hours to get the sample. however. we won't get the results for another 24 hours. meanwhile, my poor baby languishes with a temperature of 103. seriously. *sigh*

but. i promised a weekend update and pictures. and i will deliver. so here ya go. a list of things i loved about our weekend. in no particular order. and pictures. again. in no particular order.

at the crusade. see number 5. john looks like the sixth member of the katinas in this picture.

jeremy camp

elijah on daddy's back

elijah on mommy's back

my little ghetto gangsta...before he got sick.

1. even though it was generally warmer than i prefer, there was a constant cool breeze and it was cool enough to sleep with the windows open.

2. we got to go to the REI labor day sale (significant because we don't have an REI anywhere close to us...the closest one is an hour and a half away). i got a fabulous green northface zip-up for $30! and it has monkey sleeves! woot!

3. we got a baby backpack to tote elijah around in and not only is it uber comfortable, elijah LOVES it.

4. we had homemade tortillas for breakfast on sunday. yum.

5. we got to go to the greg laurie harvest crusade as vips...see the katinas and jeremy camp, witness thousands go forward to receive Christ AND we got to worship the Lord together. powerful stuff. good for the soul.

6. we got to eat sushi.

7. i got to read all sunday afternoon (jan karon's mitford series) while sick elijah slept next to me.

8. the moon was out and beautiful...and there were clouds in the sky at sunset (very rare for this part of california in the summertime)

9. john brought me taco truck tacos and we had authentic british pubhouse ale to drink.

10. i got to talk to BOTH of my brothers. on the same day no less.

11. i wore my hair in the tiny-est, spikey-est pigtails ever. and they were cute. (at least i thought so...)

12. i got to have popcorn for dinner...twice! (scary how many of these "good things" revolve around food...hmmm...)

the only bad thing about the weekend besides the fact it wasn't long enough:

13. elijah had (still has) a fever. poor baby. he's miserable.

not sure if this has anything to do with the fever but another wonderful thing happened this weekend:

14. elijah slept from 9pm to 6am saturday night. sheer bliss. (and now that he's been sick a couple days and HASN'T slept through the night since getting sick, i'm pretty sure his sleeping through the night didn't have anything to do with his sickness...at least i'm hoping so.)

you know you have a headache when...

you know you have a headache when you don't even want popcorn for dinner.

hopefully i'll be back tomorrow with pictures and a weekend update. elijah's suffering through a fever so we'll see. spent four hours at the clinic this afternoon...i should rephrase that. wasted four hours at the clinic today...*sigh* well...at least we know it's nothing serious.

more tomorrow. must. rest. this. aching. head.

ahh...friday.

taken the sunday before elijah and i left for alaska.
we're at a park a couple blocks from our house. the park has a water fountain that elijah loves to watch (the water and the kids playing in the water). so we thought he'd like playing in the water too. well...he liked walking through the shooting spires of water with me holding him but he didn't so much like being squirted in the face with the water. this was taken a couple minutes after such an occasion. he wasn't so happy about life right then...poor baby.

might go see jeremy camp tonight. not sure if i want to though. i've seen him before and while he puts on a good show...i don't really feel like leaving elijah. plus i did not get a good night's sleep last night (elijah was up three times between 8pm and 1am...and then up for the day at 6am. grr.) so i know i'm gonna want to crash early. so yeah...hmmm. to go or not to go...that is the question.

got a massage yesterday...utterly sore. it feels so good...but hurts too. it's a good kind of sore though. doesn't make picking elijah up any easier however...

just got some bad news about school. turns out i didn't get the financial aid i thought i was going to...so...no go on the school-e-o. i suppose that's better though. this way i won't be stretched to my limit...and that is definitely a good thing. kinda bummed i won't get to take "book art" (a class on how to make books), "calligraphy and letterform", "creative writing" and "design and concepts" (turning ideas into photographs). a good lineup of classes and despite the workload, i was really looking forward to the knowledge that i would have gained. oh well...maybe someday...

what's summer without watermelon?

i think i need to add watermelon to my list of things i like about summer because really, what is summer without watermelon?

the joys of surprising your parents...

of course i'm not in this picture...i never am.
taken on 7 august 2007 on my parent's back porch. we were enjoying a fire in the chimenia (i think that's how it's spelled. you can see the corner of it in the bottom left hand corner of the picture), s'mores and fabulous conversation. my only regret? there was no guitar.

i promised to tell the story of the alaskan surprise trip that my brothers, sister in law and i pulled off. it all started back in march or so when i realized that 2007 was my parents 30th wedding anniversary. i emailed the sibs with the request that they be thinking of something that we could do for them. 30 years is a big deal! so...we kinda batted around a couple ideas but none of them really stuck out except for the idea that we all just show up at their house and completely surprise them. well...luke was already planning to go home for a month or so in the summer to work and since he didn't have a penny to his name to pay for another ticket back home in september (their actual anniversary is the 17th of september), we decided to surprise them in august when luke was going to be there anyway. i tried my hardest to convince my mom that i couldn't come up this summer: john was too busy, john didn't want me to go without him, etc etc etc. however, she was determined to get me up there. so after a rather disgruntled call with my mother (disgruntled on her part, not mine) and then a desperate call to erin (my sister in law) explaining the situation, we decided that i would let my mom and dad know that i was coming too. so now, it was just peter and erin that were the surprise. but still...we figured it was a pretty good surprise especially since all of us hadn't been together since peter and erin's wedding two years prior. peter and erin got their flights, i got mine, luke got his. the plan was set. luke showed up first. then elijah and i came a couple weeks later. peter and erin were scheduled to fly in a couple days after me. so luke, being the fantastic lier that he is, told my mom that he was going over to a friend's house to watch a movie. of course, my mom didn't like this idea since it was already late and luke had been out late for several nights in a row already. silly mom...she gave luke the fourth degree and made him promise to be home by a decent hour. oh...if she only knew the real reason he was leaving! so...luke picked peter and erin up at the airport in anchorage and they all drove back home. while luke made a bit more noise than completely necessary in order to disguise the sounds of two more bodies entering the house to the overly alert ears of my mother, peter and erin settled themselves downstairs in the basement for a very brief respite. my dad is a very early riser and he always works out in the room that peter and erin were sleeping in...so they set their alarm and made sure they were out of there before my dad was scheduled to appear. around six am, i woke up too and made my way downstairs to wait with peter and erin as my dad had decided on this morning of all mornings, to sleep in. he finally appeared at the top of the stairs and with a little prompting from me (whom he could see, he could only see peter and erin's feet), came down the stairs to exclaim, "no way! NO WAY!". needless to say, he was surprised. and in honor of this, he abandoned his workout and drank coffee with the three of us while we waited for my mom to wake up. the longest hour and a half i've sat through in a while...but the drudgery was lessened by the company. finally, we heard my mom moving around upstairs. instead of letting her shower and get ready and take another hour to get downstairs, elijah and i went up and told her to put on her glasses as there were some people downstairs that she needed to see. well, it's a good thing i told her to put on her glasses because even with them on, she spent a good minute and a half at the top of the stairs, squinting at peter and erin, trying to figure out if what she thought she was seeing was indeed what she was actually seeing. when she finally decided that it was peter and erin (i think peter said something like "hi mom"), she said, "what are you doing here?" amidst happy tears.

needless to say...it was a great surprise...and i'm so glad we were able to pull it off. but now we've really set the standard pretty high. what are earth are we gonna do for their fiftieth to top that? at least we've got another twenty years to think about it...

the slow migration of glaciers...

three postings in one day hmmm...lots of life lessons being learned in my life these days i guess. don't know what it is about a trip to alaska...but i always come back brimming with thoughts about life and living. so...here's some more of my thoughts...but first, a poem from jewel's book of poetry: a night without armor. it's called "the slow migration of glaciers"...and i've loved it since i first read it in a seventeen magazine back in high school. much more poignant to me now that i've left...left the land i still call home.

the slow migration of glaciers
unfolding through the centuries
their heavy wing
burdened with all the
weight of the earth
they move and carve and breathe

swollen rivers thick with soot
my pony and i drawing
deep sharp breaths
as we cross
submerged
in all that is natural and Holy

to run free with you once more
to let my hair tangle itself
in a wind that knows only motion

to lose my heart once again
in the thorns of primrose
on the plains of fox river valley
lost in a maze of timothy and blue grass hay.

these are the things which made me
these are the things i call home
these are the things that have filled
my heart with song and i raise them now in homage:

my father and i riding until after dark
chasing cattle or startling eagles into flight
cooking on a coal stove
cutting meat with a dull knife
my hands raw from picking rose hips
on the sea cliffs above kackamack bay
staring endlessly at the blue sky...

few would guess now how much i miss
you alaska

how my heart grows
heavy out here

so far away

so much talk
so much noise
strangling all stillness
so i can no longer
hear the voice of God whisper
to me in the silence

i will return to you, alaska,
my beloved, but for now
i am youth's solider
chasing down
an endless dawn

obviously, there are parts of that poem that don't really apply to me...like, i've never ridden a pony or picked rose hips above kackamack bay...but i can (and have) substitute my own memories and pieces of my alaskan history. but that last part especially...mmm. it hits me hard every time.

i've read that poem to john a couple times. i always cry when i get to the bolded part. i know he doesn't understand the attachment one can have to a place. it's hard to explain unless you know too. but i realized something when i came back from my trip a couple weeks ago. the reason my "heart grows heavy out here" has little to do with the traffic and the heat (though i'm sure they contribute) but to the fact iterated in the second part of that stanza: i can no longer hear the voice of God whisper to me in the silence. it's easy in alaska to be closer to God because you feel physically closer. the mountains, the sky, the fresh air...it all screams God's name, praising Him along with you. but here..."so far away...so much talk...so much noise". it truly does strangle the stillness. it's hard to find that quiet place everyday. but at least now, i know. i know why my heart becomes a parched wasteland and why i get so weary...so weary. i have to seek out that quiet place...that stillness and let God fill me up regardless of my geographical location. to stop relying on periodic trips to the land of my youth to quench my thirsty soul and trust God to do it instead...that's what i need to do.

journal...

occasionally i post entries from my handwritten journal here. this is one of those posts. i wrote this while i was in alaska. one of the main reasons i went up there this summer (besides to surprise my parents for their 30th wedding anniversary. i wasn't the surprise...peter and erin were the surprise but i guess i was a participant. i'll explain the whole thing in another post soon. anyways...) was to go through the boxes and boxes of stuff i still have packed away at my parents house. they're getting ready to downsize to a smaller home (a decision i DO NOT support in any way!) so with the threat of the dumpster for all my things, i thought i'd better get up there and at least go through it all. so yeah...that's what the following is all about. a bit cliqued...maybe. but definitely things that were going through my head as i sifted through my past...and a good reminder i suppose.

written on 6 august 2007:

i've stayed away from my blog (and the computer in general) since i've been here...it feels good to have a break. i've been immersing myself in memories and moments...making the most of my short stay. going through old things, boxes and boxes of nonsense...it was precious to me at one time i suppose. makes me think about life. about MY life. the dreams i had...the dreams i have still. so many desires...wishes...things i wanted to do and be...things i still want to do and be. everything resurfaced when i peeked under the lid of so many dusty boxes and inhaled the musty scent of the past and memories long since forgotten. i was reminded as i combed through photos, journals, old school papers, stuffed animals and itty bits of my past that i am currently living my life RIGHT NOW...this moment. it's not something that's waiting to happen...it is happening and will continue to happen until it's done. so...if there's something i wish to accomplish...dreams that need to be given legs...i just need to turn those aspirations into achievements and those desires into reality. it is my life...and someone's got to live it. i suppose it better be me.

cliched? maybe. but when every day slips by...unrecognizable from the last...i guess i need a bit of a reminder to DO something everyday...CREATE something everyday...instill a sense of purpose into my everyday...because if i don't...i'll wake up and i'll be at the end of my life still "sitting, waiting, wishing..." and that's the last thing i want. so...a gentle reminder for myself. i want my life to be about living. living with purpose...for Christ...for my child(ren)...for my sanity. so that when i finally do get to the end...there are no regrets...no "i wish i'd done this" statements...none of that. it's time to learn how to actually use my sewing machine...how to make a homemade pie...how to play the guitar...how to not worry endlessly about the little things (like the disastrous state of my house) and to enjoy the little everyday moments with my son. watching him play...helping him learn about the world. praying with him...with others. sharing grace and the Source of ultimate peace. a tall order? maybe. but a good order. a good one.

i'm trying to be positive here...

elijah enjoying his eggs a couple mornings ago...

i subscribe to several magazines. martha stewart living, creating keepsakes, simple scrapbooks, everyday food, to name a few. a borderline addiction really. anyways. september's issues have been coming in for the past few weeks. each cover has happy people dressed in expensive sweaters, with color palettes carefully chosen from autumn inspiration. i sweat just looking at them. however, they do provide me with a scrap of hope as i watch the mercury steadily make its daily trek up into the triple digits. because finally i have tangible proof that this heat cannot last forever however oppressive and unending it may seem. those magazine covers have given me another reason to be thankful. thankful that summer doesn't last forever. thankful for the good things summer does bring. thankful that life is not like a reverse narnia where it's always summer and never christmas. since i began consciously trying to find contentment in this place God has placed me, i've been making a list of things that i actually DO like about the summer months. and now, with summer's end drawing blissfully nearer, i thought it'd be fun to post my list here. feel free to add any of your favorites to the comments section. i'm planning to do a layout based on this list and i'd love a couple more things to add...

things i love about summer...in no particular order...

fresh cut grass and the way it smells/feels/looks
sunsets
cool evening breezes
fresh produce in its abundance
sleeping with the windows open
camping
cute sandals
popsicles
lazy days
trips to alaska
suntanned toes (especially elijah's!)
playing in the water park
the farmer's market
backyard bar-b-ques

that's all i've got so far...but it seems pretty comprehensive. looking forward to finding pictures to complete the layout. i'll be sure to post it on here as soon as i finish it (and as soon as the darn scanner gets fixed...grr.). so...i'll leave you here for the day. i've got a ton more pictures to share...coming soon!

monday.

i will always remember.

more alaska nostalgia...

it's the fam.
the whole fam.
minus john.
that makes me sad.
peter suggested that i photoshop him in.
hmm...
obvious no?

oh well.
we'll get another chance.
maybe at luke's wedding?
(note: luke is not currently engaged. i'm just thinking about the future here.)
maybe in hawaii this january?
that is if luke decides he wants to come...
...like that needs any thinking over.
a trip to hawaii?
hello.
no brainer.
anyways.

this picture was taken on the beach in homer.
grand times.
wishing it didn't have to end.
like all grand times...
...over too soon.

"one million dollars"

been working on some old photos that kinda slipped through the cracks in my "i have a newborn" haze and i found this. it was taken on elijah's one month "birthday" (hence the cupcake). almost laughed out loud but caught myself when i remembered that elijah was sleeping in the next room. seriously...is he not dr. evil from austin powers? "one million dollars"...seriously.

ahhh...saturday morning with a napping baby. bliss.

my mom's going to kill me for posting this picture...but since dad had a turn already...it's only fair. sorry mom. :D well...the photos are finished. seriously...time consuming yes, but i'm so happy with the results. here's a sampling for your viewing pleasure.




1. _MG_4644.jpg, 2. _MG_4636.jpg, 3. _MG_4631.jpg, 4. _MG_4627.jpg, 5. _MG_4612.jpg, 6. _MG_4610.jpg, 7. _MG_4605.jpg, 8. _MG_4602.jpg, 9. _MG_4593.jpg, 10. _MG_4590.jpg, 11. _MG_4586.jpg, 12. _MG_4584.jpg, 13. _MG_4580.jpg, 14. _MG_4568.jpg, 15. _MG_4566.jpg, 16. _MG_4554.jpg, 17. _MG_4545.jpg, 18. _MG_4539.jpg, 19. _MG_4509.jpg, 20. _MG_4490.jpg, 21. _MG_4489.jpg, 22. _MG_4485.jpg, 23. _MG_4477.jpg, 24. _MG_4468.jpg, 25. _MG_4465.jpg

to view the first 200 photos (which i uploaded in reverse order so consequently, it's actually the last 200 photos) of my trip, please visit my flickr site. i've exceeded my limit for this month for the free site and since i'm too cheap to upgrade to the "pro" site, 200 is all you get for now.

the movement of time goes unnoticed...

...until you look at pictures like this:
elijah johnathon, hours old

elijah turned eight months old yesterday.
seriously.
time has wings.
super sonic ones.

another pic from the alaska trip.
my sleeping angel.
precious.

a picture a day keeps the crazies at bay...

i promised a picture a day...so here's todays photo. this one was taken up in hatcher pass (for those of you non-alaskans reading this, hatcher pass is a beautiful oasis of mountains about 20 minutes behind my parents house. amazing testament to God's majesty...i love it up there.) we went up for a quick hike the day before we left and elijah LOVED it. whenever we would stop for a break or a drink of water, he'd get all impatient and let us know that we needed to get moving again. love that he loves being outdoors. hope he gets to spend more time in those mountains...they are food for the soul.

i am thankful for...

...brothers and ninilchick.
odd and unrelated?
i assure you.
they're not.
(actually, the brothers are a bit odd...but i digress)
why am i thankful for these seemingly unrelated things?
primarily because i have many wonderful memories of time in ninilchick
with my brothers.

one of those times was just recently...on my last trip back home.
we didn't get to spend nearly enough time there...
but the brief hour that we spent on the beach brought back so many wonderful summer memories...
i only hope elijah gets to experience the joys of the ninilchick beach someday.
(well...i guess since he was present the last time we were there, he's technically already experienced it. however, it'd be nice if he can go back when he can actually play on the beach and remember it.)

it was a drizzily day...but beautiful nonetheless.

the elder.

the younger.

are you shocked and amazed that there are no pictures of elijah in this post? i am. :D

daily something.

taken in truckee...outside our hotel. 11 august 2007

for those of you in the scrapbooking world...you're probably familiar with the scrapbooker/life artist (her concept) ali edwards. she is and has been a major inspiration for me creatively over the past few years. anyways...i've been trying to think of a way to incorporate creativity into my daily life...because i believe it is a necessity for me and the sanity of my soul. and i think i've found my solution. ali has come up with the idea (though i'm sure she's not the first and only) to create something everyday. to tell a story about life...everyday. i've decided to take that concept and use it...to make it my own. in an attempt to learn contentment (a daily struggle of mine)...i'm going to create something...a layout, a post-it note, whatever...of something i'm thankful for every day. obvious things include my husband, my son, my salvation, my life. but i also want to include less obvious things like crisp breezes, tanned toes and jane austen. so not only will it be a lesson in creativity to made said "something" but also to think of things i'm thankful for. a good plan i think. of course...it will be hard to find time to make something everyday...but i'm not going for masterpiece quality here. just a simple documentation of life and thankfulness. hopefully, once everything gets rolling i'll be able to share some of the outcome here. our scanner is being poopy though and doesn't want to work with my mac. anyone know why? hopefully we'll be able to resolve that issue soon. in the meantime...i'm off to create today's something while my little man finishes his nap...

MIA

no...not "missing in action"..."missing in alaska"!

to my faithful blog readers...my humblest apologies for the lack of "action" on the blog for the last couple weeks. elijah and i just got back from a wonderful ten days in alaska, visiting grandma and grandpa. we also spend a few days in tahoe before coming home; john had some work training up there so we decided to join him. it was a great two weeks.

now we're back at home...and things are slowly starting to get back to normal. i'm still in the midst of unpacking...but at least i made it to the grocery store this morning. one chore down...a million more to go.

speaking of a million...that's about how many pictures i have to edit from our trip(s). so. i've made it a goal...starting today...to post one new picture each day. that way i'm making myself get the editing done. or at least some of it. ha! so...here's today's picture...and a little antidote about the trip...

this picture was taken by the lovely and very talented erin tegeler (my sister-in-law). we were hanging out at my uncle dan and aunt jaime's house. this was elijah's first time on the swings and as you can see by the expression on his face...he throughly enjoyed himself.


more to come...must finish unpacking. in the meantime...watch "the holiday". despite the immorality, it's a great little flick.